jpyxx 
The 1-hour ether chart is basically a drama queen right now. It tried to bounce back from $4,358.6 but got stage fright and stalled around $4,400. Volume’s like, “Nah, I’m good,” and the microstructure’s whispering “bearish flag” or “descending triangle.” If it dips below $4,350, it’s heading for $4,300 or even $4,250. But hey, if it breaks above $4,420-$4,430 with some serious volume, it might just pull a plot twist. 🎉
Now, let us dive-nay, tiptoe with wit and charm-into three altcoins that may face a spot of bother in the first week of this oh-so-precious September. Shall we? 😌
In a Monday report by News1, Lee said that “crypto has extreme price volatility, lacks monetary function” and, oh yeah, “has no intrinsic value.” Yes, he really went there. He continued by noting that virtual assets are like the eccentric uncle at the family reunion-“they’re not really part of the financial family.” He went as far as saying they differ from “traditional financial products” like deposits and securities because they’re just, well, useless. What a bold statement to make right before his confirmation hearing.
Ethereum (ETH), that darling of decentralization, clings to its elevated perch with the tenacity of a cat on a windowsill. The monthly close? A masterclass in bullish choreography. Investors, it seems, have swapped Bitcoin’s crown for ETH’s tiara, and the ETFs are throwing a champagne-soaked parade. 🍾 But remember, dear reader: even the most elegant ballroom can turn into a mosh pit if the music falters.
Buffett’s moon-sized stash of cash-oh, it’s just a casual $350 billion-has a habit of whispering “falling sky” before market crashes. 🎭
In any case, behold the sacred ledger: 10 billion tokens reserved for “ecosystem growth,” a term so vague it might as well mean “magic dust to sprinkle on investors.” Then there are 7.78 billion tokens gracefully handed to Alt5 Sigma, who now possess a modest 8% share. One can only imagine the boardroom banter leading to such an exact figure.
Alt5 Sigma, the enigmatic recipient of 7.78 billion tokens (a modest 8% of the total supply), stands as a silent benefactor or perhaps a cunning manipulator-who can say? Meanwhile, 2.88 billion tokens are sacrificially offered to the gods of liquidity and marketing, ensuring the machine of capitalism hums smoothly. And let us not forget the 4 billion tokens allotted to the public sale participants, with a generous 20% unlocked at launch-a crumb thrown to the plebeians to keep them sated. 🍞
The blockchain record indicates that the official multisignature wallet of the project moved approximately 485 million WLFI tokens to two addresses, which are associated with Jump Crypto.
A recent U.S. Federal Appeals Court decision just dismantled several tariffs imposed by President Donald Trump, and suddenly everyone is seeing eerie similarities between that saga and the SEC’s attempts to play gatekeeper for the Wild West of digital assets. It’s like déjà vu but with more acronyms and fewer cowboy hats. 🤠📜
Nearly half of all ETH is snoozing comfortably in a single smart contract: the Beacon Deposit Contract. It’s like the big comfy couch of the Ethereum world, powering its proof-of-stake system. Seriously, just one lazy couch – how convenient! 🛋️
