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Now, amid this circus of geopolitical saber-rattling, everyone’s eyes swivel to Bitcoin. Will its shiny upward march stumble? Historically, when Trump throws his tantrums and war drums beat, Bitcoin cowers like a kicked dog. It hit a new peak after the Iran-Israel dust-up settled, but now it’s loitering just below, eyeing that $120,000 wall it smacked into today. Down it slid to around $118,500, filling some pesky CME gap. Oh, the drama! 😂

Founder Sreeram Kannan (aka the guy who probably hasn’t slept since 2021) called this a “key moment” in Eigenlayer’s mission to scale decentralized infrastructure. Because nothing says “key moment” like syncing validator data across chains while pretending you’re not stressed. 😅

Trading volume? Roared past $3B. Open interest? Surged above $1.71B. This isn’t just a weekend pump—it’s a full-blown crypto renaissance, darling. 🌟 And guess what? Institutions are here too, with Nano Labs and WindTree throwing their treasury money into the ring. $1,000–$2,000 by Q4? Don’t mind if I do. 🤑

So here we are in 2026 (well, hypothetically), and XRP has a market cap of over $192.8 billion. That’s more than my student loan debt, which is saying something. But what does this mean for the token formerly known as everyone’s favorite lawsuit bait? Can it climb higher, or is it destined to be the Jan Brady of crypto—forever living in Bitcoin’s shadow?

In a tweet so dire, it could make a monk weep, Kiyosaki likened our present state to the twilight of the 1929 era. “We stand at the edge of another abyss,” he intones, as if reciting a tragic play. 🎭

These “forecast markets” are basically futures contracts for things that aren’t even assets. Bet on CPI? Sure, why not. Just don’t expect a refund if the economy collapses. 🧠💸

So, how do you fight back? 🥊 Simple: waste their time, make them cry, and watch them scream into the void. Kitboga’s got your back (and their wallets).

BeInCrypto, in its infinite wisdom—or at least with a decent spreadsheet—has identified three altcoins that might hit all-time highs soon. Or crash spectacularly. Either way, it’s bound to be entertaining. 🎢

Ah, the audacious Salvadoran saga continues! Following a recent soiree of statements from the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the nation’s flirtation with bitcoin purchases has once again caught the eye of the financial gaze. During a press conference that would make any soap opera jealous, IMFer Julie Kozack energetically proclaimed that, lo and behold, since the ink dried on the $1.4 billion credit deal, El Salvador’s bitcoin stash has remained remarkably unchanged. Almost impressive, if you think about it! 🧐

Meanwhile, Bitcoin, that capricious lover of libertarians and meme-stock enthusiasts, has once again abandoned its post at the $119,000 checkpoint, slinking back to the shadows of last week’s price trenches like a thief caught mid-heist. 🖤