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So apparently, when people get nervous, they flock to big names like Bitcoin, Ether, and XRP instead of dabbling in those random altcoins that no one can pronounce. According to Santiment (whoever they are), this behavior screams caution. I mean, who knew traders could be such drama queens?

🤝 In a move that screams “Wall Street meets Silicon Valley,” Eightco appointed the legendary Dan Ives as Chairman of the Board. Yes, THAT Dan Ives! He’s swapping his analyst hat for a chairman’s crown, and he’s as excited as I am when someone says, “Let’s do a sequel!” 🎬 Dan gushed, “AI gives us infinite abundance, but Worldcoin gives us infinite trust-and a chance to prove we’re not robots!” 🤖✋

U.S. equity futures went up this week because the Nonfarm Payrolls (NFP) report showed only 22,000 new jobs, which is way below the 75,000 everyone was expecting. So, the market is like, “Great, fewer jobs, let’s buy more stocks!” And the Fed is probably thinking about cutting rates again. Traders are betting on 72 basis points of easing before the end of the year. Like, who wouldn’t want lower interest rates, right?

Now, hold onto your hats: Bitcoin’s hanging in there at $112,226 with a 24-hour trading volume of $33.73 billion. It managed a modest 0.92% bump yesterday. You know, like when you try to make a salad and end up adding too much dressing. Ethereum’s doing its thing too, creeping up by 0.74%, bringing it to $4,334.15 with $26.30 billion in volume. So yeah, it’s like a family reunion where everyone’s just… showing up. 🙃

Bitcoin, that fickle siren, climbed 1.4% to over $112,600, its rally fueled by the voracious appetite of institutions. Yet, let us not forget the sell pressure from large holders, who, like wary merchants, seek to lighten their burdens. 📈

With a flourish, Grayscale has submitted its petition to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) to transform its existing Chainlink Trust into a spot exchange-traded fund. The transformation, should it be blessed by the SEC, would allow the ETF to trade on NYSE Arca under the charming ticker GLNK, as per a Monday S-1 registration statement.

The recent drop from Bitcoin’s all-time highs has failed to dampen the spirits of the derivative markets on Binance – the world’s largest cryptocurrency exchange. This, dear reader, is a key indicator of Bitcoin’s growing influence in global finance, as its futures contracts on Binance have surged to levels never before seen. How quaint, a digital asset usurping traditional markets. 👀

Somnia [SOMI] has shot up 316% from its September 4th low of $0.38. That’s like turning a lemonade stand into a Fortune 500 company in a week. This wild ride kicked off after SOMI got listed on Binance, Bybit, and Bitget – the crypto equivalent of hitting the big leagues. 🏆

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By Shayan (whoever he is; likely someone with far too much time on his hands).