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The valiant Ethereum (ETH) has taken a nosedive, plummeting by 1.83% over the fleeting span of the last 24 hours. Truly, it seems the market enjoys a good laugh at our expense. 😂

Once, traders sought wisdom in candlesticks—those flickering shadows of the past, as reliable as a Tsar’s promise. Yet here we are, brothers and sisters, staring into the abyss of human emotion: fear, greed, hype, and the sweet, sweet delirium of FOMO. The crypto market, a beast with a thousand heads, thrives on the blood of collective delusion. Why trust charts when you can peer into the fevered minds of millions? 🧠

According to Carmelo Aleman, a soothsayer at CQ, the ETH rally is less of a “BTC hand-me-down” and more of a “new money extravaganza.” Apparently, investors aren’t selling their BTC to buy ETH—they’re just opening their treasure chests wider. The Bitcoin Realized Capitalization, a fancy metric that tracks the price of BTC’s last on-chain tango, hit a new high of $1.018 trillion. So, no, your BTC isn’t being traded for ETH; it’s just chilling in its velvet-lined coffin, thank you very much. 🧛‍♂️💼

According to IntoTheBlock data, Tron’s large transaction volume reached $1.58 billion, or 4.7 billion TRX in cryptocurrency terms, representing a 526% surge in the last 24 hours. That’s more TRX than you can shake a stick at, unless you’re really good at shaking sticks, which I hear is a thing now.

Assia’s like, “We’re not launching tomorrow, but hey, a side chain might work.” A side chain? Is that like a side hustle for blockchains? He’s got beef with existing blockchains too: “We can’t run our millions of transactions on them.” Oh, the horror! Poor eToro, forced to innovate. 😢

Sure, there’s a headline-friendly 50% gain this month, but the weekly trot is a mere 2%—barely enough to ruffle a dandy’s pocket square. Underneath, cracks are forming with all the subtlety of a hippo in a teacup shop. The mood? Brewing bull trap—ideal for those buyers who believe fashionably late also applies to trading.

93% de l’offre de XRP est en profit, ce qui ressemble à un banquet de moutons 🐑. Une débâcle de prise de bénéfices, comme un voleur qui fuit le théâtre 🕵️‍♂️.

Picture this: Pump.fun, once pulling in over $7 million a day in January, now barely crackling under $300k as of late July. That’s like going from a roaring lion to a sneezing kitten! Meanwhile, traders are hopping ship faster than a frog on a hot griddle, leaving Pump.fun behind for shiny new platforms like LetsBonk, which sounds like a silly name but apparently has all the fun — and the bucks, at least on paper.

Picture this: On July 25th, miners dumped over 18,000 BTC—yes, you heard me right, *eighteen thousand*—onto Binance, worth more than $2 billion. That’s enough to buy a small island or fund an army of chocolate teapots. Coincidentally, someone also decided it was high time to withdraw $650 million in USDC from the same exchange. Was there some kind of fire sale going on? Or did someone accidentally hit “send” while trying to order pizza?

On a fateful Monday, the Ministry of Finance, with the solemnity of a priest anointing a new era, unveiled a series of regulatory decrees—No. 50/2025 and No. 53/2025—marking a new chapter in the saga of crypto taxation, effective from the 1st of August. One might say the heavens themselves weep with the weight of these amendments, as if the cosmos itself were sighing, “Not again.”