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It appears our beloved crypto market is preparing for a leisurely stroll rather than a sprint this August, as the whispers of a U.S. Federal Reserve interest rate cut have been silenced, much like a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. 🐱💤

The FOMC, that august assembly of financial priests, gathered to say nothing in particular—all hawk, no action, and Powell up there mumbling the same old platitudes that bounce off the walls and echo in empty pockets. Did anyone expect a revelation? If you did, I hope you bet small. Bitcoin, with the air of a street dog scratching at fleas, shrugged, barked at the moon, jumped a few percent, then flopped down again. Such is life. Such is the market.

First off, FTX—those crypto jacks-in-the-box—went and put $79 million worth of ETH back into the game after, I reckon, taking out a similar amount. Acts of a gambler, or maybe just trying to keep pace with the rest of the sharks in these waters. And wouldn’t ya know it, ETH’s price has strutted up a bit, shifting from $3,860 and climbing higher, as lively as a roost of crows on a shiny copper kettle. 🦅📈

Market observers, those modern-day prophets, now gaze upon the $19.50 level, as if it were the Holy Grail of finance. “A 4X rally!” they cry, while the rest of us wonder if this is the dawn of a new era or merely a fleeting mirage. Institutional interest, that fickle lover, dances with Chainlink, yet its true intentions remain as opaque as a Dostoevsky novel. 🧠💥

Now, you might think that such a monumental purchase would send Bitcoin’s market price soaring like a kite in a hurricane. But no! The price barely budged, slipping a mere 0.25% in the past week. It had hit an all-time high of $123,140 on July 14, and as of this report, it was lounging around $118,606, sipping a piña colada and enjoying the view. 🍹

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Imagine a world where asset managers, possibly in pajamas, gaze at the rising star of Layer 1 blockchains. The duo, Invesco and Galaxy Digital, want you to have a piece of the Solana pie, which is apparently tasty enough to earn a spot on the SEC’s radar. They’re not alone—VanEck and 21Shares are already knocking on that door, eager to get their slice of the crypto pie, as if the regulators haven’t had enough caffeine.

The 1-hour BNB/USDT chart, a masterpiece shared by the sage @ChristiaanDefi, reveals a classic falling wedge formation, a pattern often heralded as a harbinger of bullish reversal. BNB, after its noble retreat from the lofty heights of $862.58, paid homage to the descending wedge’s boundaries, bowing but never breaking.

It all started with a curious investor and YouTuber named Andrei Jikh, who had the audacity to ask some tough questions. Like, why, after more than a decade and “300+ bank partnerships,” isn’t the XRPL clearing “billions in daily on-chain volume”? And why would anyone in their right mind choose a volatile asset like XRP over stablecoins? 🤔

Keiser’s commentary was sparked by a speech from none other than Christine Lagarde, the president of the European Central Bank, who elucidated on the burgeoning appetite for central bank digital currencies (CBDCs). In her address, Lagarde noted the precipitous decline in cash usage within the European Union, coupled with a 50% surge in digital payment demands. She warned that if the ECB fails to embrace digital currencies, it risks losing its venerable position as the bedrock of the financial system. 🏦💥