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The UN just published a revised version of the System of National Accounts (SNA), which formally incorporates Bitcoin and other qualified crypto-assets into national wealth statistics. It may not seem like much, but recognition on this level from the UN should do wonders for crypto adoption long-term. 🚀

This whole story’s been longer than a sitcom rerun. Ripple’s out, penalty paid, but the SEC? Still hanging in there, probably sipping coffee and pretending they’re busy. The real kicker? The court says, “Hey, by August 15, 2025, you gotta tell us what’s up.” Like some sad high school deadline, but instead of a report card, it’s legal doom or glory. 📅

Meanwhile, in a twist of fate that would make Kafka blush, the developing world is supposed to rejoice as stablecoins “lift them from poverty” 🎩✨. Institutional investors, DeFi enthusiasts, and your average Joe are all allegedly queuing up to join this brave new financial circus. But what could possibly go wrong?

Make no mistake; this isn’t idle salon chatter between courses of roast quail. For years, Dimon wagged a disapproving finger, dismissing crypto as a child might the mathematics master. But now? He endorses dollar-pegged tokens. Not due to a sudden, inconvenient romance with algorithms, but because his clients—all 21st-century Gatsby aspirants—are simply too demanding to ignore. The man, ever practical, has thrown his signature into the ledger. Perhaps the allure of stablecoins is stronger than that of traditional banking hats.

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Injective (INJ) tried to break out of its ascending triangle pattern, reaching a peak of $16.35 on July 28, but alas, it lost its momentum and took a nosedive to $12.80, slipping beneath the 20-day EMA. Poor thing, it must have had a bad day! 🤕

Since mid-July, Bitcoin’s been dragging itself sideways like a drunk trying to find his way home. Friday’s new low at $114,400 smacked the bottom of its bull flag harder than a Friday night bar brawl. Now it’s wobbling back toward that point, and investors? Well, they’re sweating like pigs at a bacon convention. 🥓

On the first day of August, Valereum announced its grand plan to raise £500,000 by issuing approximately 16.12 million ordinary shares. The proceeds, they assure us, will be used to establish a Bitcoin (BTC) Treasury, as well as to fuel the company’s expansion, platform rollout, and market entry. Because, you know, who doesn’t want to dive headfirst into the world of cryptocurrency?

And now, Visa, with the subtlety of a bull in a china shop, wants a slice of that tasty crypto pie. They’ve announced a big expansion to support stablecoins and blockchains, because why not? Will this be a game-changer? Who knows! But it sure makes for some interesting cocktail party chatter.

And wait for it—Grayscale’s filing boldly announces a 2.5% annual fee, payable in none other than SOL—yes, the fees are getting personalized now. It’s like paying your barista in bitcoin but with a sprinkle of irony. Meanwhile, CoinShares, not to be outdone, has registered its Solana Staking ETF in Delaware, because why not add a little state charm to your crypto adventure? This June 10, 2025, date is practically a national holiday for the blockchain enthusiasts.