jpyxx Word on the street is Kaito InfoFi’s gKAITO upgrade is coming soon. 🛠️ They say it’ll improve user engagement, but let’s see if it’s more than just lipstick on a pig. Meanwhile, Hyperliquid’s planning to let stablecoins play nice with 200k HYPE staking. 💰 More liquidity? Sure, but will it attract more than just flies to the honey?
On the Monday following these events, the virtuous company dispatched an on-chain entreaty directly unto the rogue. They most earnestly entreated the scoundrel to restore the purloined treasures, warning that the proffered bounty would remain available for no more than thirty days, diminishing in worth as the seven-day mark passed-perhaps to encourage rapid repentance, or simply to preserve their own patience from being thoroughly tested.
Strategy’s vault now holds a staggering $73.49 billion worth of bitcoin. To put that in perspective, that’s enough to buy… well, a whole lot of imaginary internet money! After teasing the crowd on Sunday like a magician revealing the bunny, Strategy’s head honcho Michael Saylor proudly declared, “We bagged 525 more BTC for a cool $60.2 million at $114,562 per coin. And boy, oh boy, our BTC yield is a juicy 25.9% YTD for 2025!” He dropped that mic over on X, probably while bragging at a party. As of 9/14/2025, these crypto crusaders are hoarding 638,985 BTC, paid for at $47.23 billion, averaging about $73,913 per Bitcoin. Somebody’s definitely playing Monopoly with real money!
CantoneseCat, recording just before the weekly close (because drama loves a deadline), says DOGE is having a steady, methodical rebuild. No headline-driven spikes here, just a slow burn like Bridget’s romance with Mark Darcy. “I’m bullish on Dogecoin,” he purrs. “There’s nothing I’m too bearish about.” Except maybe the state of my love life, but that’s another story. 💔
This wasn’t your average Sunday afternoon bake-off, mind you. The race was fiercer than a Black Friday sale, with bigwigs like Paxos, Frax Finance, and Ethena throwing their hats into the ring. But Native Markets? They didn’t just win-they *sprinted* across the finish line with over 70% of the validator votes. Talk about a landslide! 🏆
Aleo, a layer 1 blockchain built on the enigmatic foundations of zero-knowledge technology, has ascended to Binance Alpha, its token ALEO now within reach of more than 280 million users across 100+ countries. The listing, which commenced on September 14, 2025, marks a pivotal moment in Aleo’s quest to bring privacy-first infrastructure to the masses, a cause as noble as it is fraught with irony in our age of surveillance. 🕵️♂️
So, the altcoin party’s getting loud, but Maartunn’s the buzzkill in the corner whispering, “This ended badly last time.” The index is at 72, practically knocking on 75’s door, and everyone’s like, “Is this it? Is this finally it?” Meanwhile, Solana’s out here flexing like it just won a marathon, up 17% and stealing Binance Coin’s lunch money. 🏆
With a field of over 40 million crypto enthusiasts and the undeniable gravitational pull of an estimated $300 billion in yearly trading volume, it is a realm that laughs at the notion of being ignored. Yet, while it’s been flourishing in the realm of the untamed digital frontier, it’s only recently been anchored to the harbor of clarity.
According to crypto.news (because who doesn’t trust random numbers on the internet?), Nosana (NOS) briefly flirted with $1.27-a six-month high-before settling at $0.91 like a party guest who realized they’d had one too many. Still, that’s a 134% weekly gain, though it’s still 76% shy of its yearly peak. Classic crypto: two steps forward, one existential crisis back.
less risk for institutional clients. So, don’t freak out, the fund’s not just throwing money at the blockchain and hoping for the best. 💸