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The spotlight tilted, spotlight being the operative syllable here, toward altcoins-those jeunesse dorée assets forever flirting with delusions of grandeur. $223.6 billion sloshed through ETH-and-friends futures: the highest libation offered in five Gregorian moons. In percentage terms, 83 % of the Binance ballroom now pulses to Solana electro, BNB samba, and XRP tango, leaving Bitcoin to nurse a modest 17 % in the corner, swirling absinthe and muttering about past halvings. 📉😒

So, the world’s largest crypto exchange has decided to play a little game of “let’s pause everything” this week. On August 6, they’ll be performing some wallet maintenance for USDC withdrawals via Ethereum (ETH), Polygon (POL), Arbitrum (ARB), Base (BASE), and Optimism (OP) networks. Because who doesn’t love a good two-hour wait? ⏳

As foretold by the oracles of crypto.news, Kaito (KAITO) suffered a most tragic fall, its chart pattern as bearish as a disgruntled bear in late July. From a lofty $1.66 on the 20th of July, it tumbled to $1.09 by the 2nd of August-a decline of 35%, swift as a Molièrean plot twist. 🌀

Weeks after astonishing the XRP community by commissioning a server out of his own pocket-an act of heroic enthusiasm worthy of a Victorian gentleman-he is already plotting his next act. Behold, the quest for *visibility*! Think of it as the blockchain’s version of a lorgnette-only instead of seeing Parisian opera-goers, Schwartz aims to scrutinize the performance of his XRPL server with a custom-made monitor. Unlike those pedestrian tools like rrdtool or Cacti, our hero is determined to craft a bespoke spectacle, because why settle for stock when you can have something uniquely Wildean? 🎩

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Apparently, Ether (ETH) got a bit shy after its July performance dazzled everyone-raking in a staggering $5.43 billion in net inflows. But no sooner had it strutted its stuff than it did a little backflip, dropping to $3,380 on Sunday, a full 12% dip from Thursday’s flirtation at $3,858. By Tuesday, our dear friend had bounced back, rising to $3,629-because even if it flops, it’s a resilient little blighter. CoinGecko reports the comeback. 🦄

At Bitcoin.com, we’ve clipped, sliced, and diced the wild buffet of Bitcoin gambling platforms, hunting down the most reliable spots to crash-err, play-Crash. It’s the game where your heartbeat competes with your multiplier, and timing is everything. We’ve got the scoop on game variety, deposit speed, security, and bonus stuff that makes your wallet sing. Because, honestly, if you’re gonna go broke, you might as well have fun doing it. 🚀

From a positively drab $22,800 to a delirious $2,480,000 in just 3.5 months-a 109x leap, or how to make one’s family solicitor squint suspiciously!

According to the chroniclers at CNBC, this musical jest doth portray the UK as a land where fish fingers cost a king’s ransom (£100, no less!) and the ceiling weeps with leaky despair. Yet, lo! The lyrics are as upbeat as a jester’s tune, a stark contrast to the visual dirge of crumbling streets and exorbitant prices. 🦴💔

Since its debut in January 2024, BlackRock’s IBIT has become the diva of ETF inflows across the US, dwarfing its nearest competitor, Fidelity’s FBTC, nearly fivefold. It’s the financial equivalent of showing up to a dinner party with a limousine while everyone else wheels in their bicycles. 🚗🚲