jpyxx Spot ETFs? More like Spot EekFs, because they’re seeing outflows that would make a fire sale look organized. And treasury activity (DATs)? Slower than a sloth on a Sunday. 🐌 Despite the macro environment being more favorable than a spa day with unlimited mimosas, you’re acting like the world’s most dramatic teenager. 🥂🙄
Who would have thought? The pioneering crypto star, Bitcoin, hit above $93,000, doling out a crisp $200 billion glowy added market cap in less than a day and a half. It began during the American work caffeine kicks starting on Tuesday. This was Bitcoin’s delightful spurt since May 2021 – oh, children, where have the years gone? And let us not forget the zenith of leveraged short liquidations, indeed!
In a consent statement filed with the SEC-so très official, darling-CZ and his cohorts are urging BNC shareholders to support proposals that would overhaul the company’s governance. How utterly daring! 🗳️💼
Vanguard is offering access to an HBAR ETF that delivers simple Hedera exposure through regulated channels. Although Canary Capital initiated the product, it’s now on the list of products Vanguard offers on its platform. This shift provides an accessible route for global investors to Hedera without the need for crypto exchanges. Moreover, it represents an increasing level of interest by traditional market participants in regulated digital-asset instruments. 🤯
In their missive, ABIB asserts that the article portrays Bitcoin (BTC) as a fickle companion, prone to wild fluctuations and consorting with criminals, while utterly disregarding its virtues in energizing grids and aiding humanitarian causes. 🌍💡
Trump, with the subtlety of a toddler in a toy store, greeted Hassett as a “potential Fed chair,” leaving the markets to scramble like cats chasing a laser pointer. “It’s a great group, and I guess a potential Fed chair is here too,” he said, possibly with a mischievous grin under that ever-present squint. “I don’t know, are we allowed to say that, potential? He’s a respected person, that I can tell you. Thank you, Kevin.” Because nothing says “decisive leadership” like hedging your bets with a side of “maybe, maybe not.”
By hitching its wagon to the Solana blockchain, Kalshi now dances cheek-to-cheek with Polymarket, the on-chain rival, in a liquidity arms race that would make a Soviet five-year plan blush. Users trade “yes” and “no” like ideological manifestos, while bots and AMMs sip tea and whisper, “At last, a market where even the spreads are democratized.” ☕
This metamorphosis, from a Bitcoin-Ethereum duet to a cacophonous symphony of altcoins, mirrors the market’s frantic attempt to outpace its own tail. The ETF, now a veritable carnival of digital assets, offers investors a single ticket to a circus where Cardano, Solana, and XRP juggle market caps with the precision of a drunken acrobat. And Dogecoin? Ah, the golden retriever of cryptos, shedding its meme-sheen to don a bow tie, albeit slightly askew.
According to Kraken’s announcement, this acquisition will fuel their tokenized equity platform, xStocks. And lo and behold, xStocks just surpassed a whopping $10 billion in total trading volume in November! Who says blockchain is just for coins and coffee-fueled ideas? ☕💸
And here we are. The three-year saga of the Fed pulling $2.39 trillion from the financial system, draining it like the last drop of a cheap bottle of vodka, has finally come to an end. That’s right. The largest liquidity withdrawal in history. And what are they doing now? Freezing Treasury runoff and continuing to drain mortgage-backed securities at a rate of $35 billion a month. Because why not make things interesting? With bank reserves hanging around $2.89 trillion, officials were getting nervous. Imagine the chaos if they’d kept going-oh wait, that’s exactly what some of us wanted to see.
