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This tech wizard, Hailey, on her social media soap opera, spots a pattern-call it the Supertrend indicator-that’s been the crypto oracle for Dogecoin’s mood swings. When DOGE crossed above this red line in the past, it was like flipping a switch-boom, wild gains. First, it shot up 84% in November ’23, then nearly doubled to 194% early 2024, and later, in a glorious November ’24 event, it soared 446%. That’s like going from a modest house party to a full-blown music festival.

Filed in the US Bankruptcy Court-you know, that solemn place where dreams go to die-this suit lays its heavy finger on Genesis Digital Assets and its merry band of co-founders. The claim? Alameda threw more than a billion dollars from 2021 to 2022 like confetti into the Bitcoin mining bonfire that Genesis called home.

The funds, collected in BNB (which now glimmers with the same charm as a well-tailored lie), will be managed with the transparency of a cat’s true intentions. All transactions will be etched into the blockchain, for nothing says “trust” like a public ledger that only 0.0001% of humanity understands. 🧾

Former SEC lawyer Marc Fagel spilled the tea on Twitter – or X, whatever you’re calling it these days – confirming that the $125 million penalty has been handed over to the U.S. Treasury. And because we all love a bit of paper trail, he even shared a letter for us to dissect (because why not?) that explained how the payment was released from escrow. It’s like a bank transfer, but with WAY more lawyers involved.

According to the high priests of crypto analysis-whoever they are-XRP might be gearing up for a move that could make your other investments look like a bad joke. The 21-week Exponential Moving Average (EMA), that tricky little line that traders whisper about in hushed tones, has historically been a sort of “launchpad” for XRP’s big moments.

Glassnode data flags Bitcoin’s profit-taking metrics as a late bull market cycle signal. 🤡

So, if you’re holding shares in these funds and feeling a bit *extra*, you can now swap them for RLUSD faster than you can say “smart contract.” 🚀 Because who needs delays when you can have instant gratification? Not us, honey.

Market cap tells us who’s hot and who’s not. Leading the stablecoin popularity contest is $USDT waving its $172 billion flag, followed by $USDC with a cool $74 billion. Peasant coins need not apply.

AVAX’s 10% pirouette to $33 is brought to you by the Avalanche Treasury’s symphony of fiscal prestidigitation. 🎩

What a god candle in the crypto markets! Aster has surged over 40% in the past 24 hours, following yesterday’s slump. One might say the bulls are not merely aping into decentralized exchanges; they are engaging in a full-blown frenzy, reminiscent of a wild hunt in the forest. 🦌