jpyxx 
Dogecoin’s price, once a sprightly pup, has morphed into a limping stray. After closing below $0.150 (the crypto equivalent of a broken leash), it slithered past $0.1450 and $0.1420, as if Bitcoin and Ethereum had whispered, “Run, little DOGE, run!”
In a grandiloquent letter penned by Michael Saylor and CEO Phong Le, Strategy gave a nod to MSCI’s noble quest for uniformity but then proceeded to lambast the proposal’s “misguided” threshold. The threshold, you ask? Exclude any firm daring to hold more than 50% digital assets on its balance sheet. Strategy cried foul, claiming this would wreak havoc not just on its own operations but on the entire cryptocurrency kingdom. 🛡️⚔️
The Fed, that old clockmaker of the economy, shaved 25 basis points off its interest rate, bringing it to 3.25%, and announced it would start buying Treasury bills to “manage liquidity.” A fancy way of saying, “We’ll keep the lights on, but don’t expect a party.”
Apparently, this move is all about “aggressive accumulation.” Or, as I like to call it, “rich people doing rich people things.” Meanwhile, Solana is just chilling in its little price range, acting all nonchalant like it’s not impressed. But we all know it’s secretly hoping for a breakout. 🏃♂️💨
Even before Jerome Powell graced the stage on Wednesday afternoon, the verdict was in; the cut was coming. The CME Fedwatch Tool, which predicts such things with the authority of a prophet, had already foreseen it-90% chance of a 25-basis-point reduction. Lo and behold, Powell didn’t disappoint. But the real question is: will Bitcoin surge in excitement, or was the cut already baked into the price?
A new CryptoQuant report, written in the scribbles of a mad mathematician, claims Ethereum’s funding rates are behaving like a well-mannered porcupine-spiky but not snorting champagne. Earlier rallies were like a dragon belching fire, with funding rates soaring into the stratosphere. Now? A timid mouse tiptoeing through a cheese shop. The last two surges were all glitter and sparkles until the glitter clogged the drain. This time, though, the sparkles are… well, dampened. No grand spectacle, just a quiet, “Oh, I suppose I’ll buy a slice of this cake.”
While the FOMC statement danced around the idea of rising employment risks and a tempering inflation rate, Powell’s comments were, dare I say, a bit more… pointed? He didn’t just hint; he came out swinging with clarity-and yes, there’s the ever-so-glamorous $40 billion Treasury bill purchase plan thrown into the mix. Because, why not?
End of Thought (7.00s)
Lo, the partnership, a veritable marriage of silicon and crypto, shall embed a Sei wallet into Xiaomi’s devices, a feat as audacious as it is absurd. One might wonder: will the masses embrace this new gospel of decentralization, or shall they scoff, as they once did at the mere notion of a smartphone? 🤔
Ah, Meteora, that shining star in the Solana firmament, has embarked on a strategic buyback program, a move as calculated as a chess game between two old friends. Announced on December 10, the team has already lavished $10.6 million in USDC to repurchase MET, a sum that, while impressive, represents a mere 2.3% of the token’s total supply. One cannot help but wonder if this is a grand gesture or a mere whisper in the wind. 🌬️