Brad Garlinghouse’s French Riviera Wedding: Cake, Crypto, and Coldplay 🎉

The nuptials went down at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Antibes, a place so fancy even the doormen probably wear tuxedos 🕴️. For €5,100 a night, you’d expect gold-plated champagne, but no word on that. The guest list read like a Hollywood casting call-Zac Efron, Nina Dobrev, Miles Teller, Chace Crawford, and Coldplay’s Chris Martin, who presumably sang “Yellow” while everyone pretended to be moved 🎤.

Senate’s Crypto Tax Circus: Who’s Getting Rich While You Pay? 🤡💰

The spectacle shall be presided over by none other than Chairman Mike Crapo-a name so fitting for the occasion, one might suspect divine intervention. 🪑 Testifying before him: Lawrence Zlatkin of Coinbase, whose very title (“Vice President of Tax”) sounds like a dystopian job posting, and Jason Somensatto of Coin Center, whose surname suggests he’s either a pasta dish or a minor character in a Solzhenitsyn novel.

Avalanche DEX Volume Hits $.B All-Time High

Recent increases in activity on Avalanche’s decentralized finance (DeFi) platforms seem to be supporting the price of its cryptocurrency. Data from DefiLlama shows that trading volume on Avalanche’s decentralized exchanges (DEXs) hit a new high of $1.3 billion on September 24th, surpassing the previous peak of $1.18 billion from the day before.

Doge Dust: A Whimsical Ride to 0.25!

Dogecoin is prancing along a Wyckoff Accumulation pattern on the 1-hour stage. A fella named Trader Tardigrade-yes, a man with a wonderfully squiggly name-tells us the market is tiptoeing through Phases A and B, testing support and resistance like a mischievous child tests a lemon-scented window with a squeaky finger. 🧹

Institutional Investors Are Heavily Accumulating XRP And Solana – Here Are The Numbers

The Fed, in its infinite wisdom, slashed rates, and the market responded like a caffeinated squirrel. The digital asset sphere, lapping up this rate cut like a dog at a water bowl, saw Bitcoin-based funds lead the charge with a healthy $977 million, followed closely by Ethereum’s ever-loyal followers at $772 million. A cocktail of altcoins joined in, causing last week’s total inflows to rocket up to $1.9 billion.

Why Zcash’s 11% Surge Has Everyone Laughing – Literally! 😂💸

Meanwhile, the charts, those fickle artists, paint a rather gloomy scene: with an MFI of 47.45 and an Aroon Down at a flourishing 85%, bearish murmurs linger in the air like leftovers from last night’s feast. ZEC’s path now wades through the liquidity clusters around $52-55-with an air of suspense befitting a soap opera!