jpyxx On September 25, ING, the Dutch folks known for keeping things “official,” dropped a joint statement. Guess what? The euro stablecoin is all set to debut in the second half of 2026. Mark your calendars, folks-better late than never, right?
Coincidentally, Aster’s meteoric rise coincided with its perpetual trading volume smashing records, reaching a jaw-dropping $35.86 billion in 24 hours-enough to make even the most seasoned trader question their life choices. 🚀📈
Because nothing says “I’m a crypto kingpin” like suing a news outlet over math homework. 😂
History, that tiresome old custodian, reminds us that every time SOL sank into this peculiar chamber of oversold air, it rebounded with theatrical gusto – from $155 to $250 in a handful of sessions. Might the same trickster deliver high notes again, driving SOL toward fresh peaks? 😏🔥
Just yesterday, the esteemed co-CEO Arjun Sethi, in a dramatic flourish, proclaimed that this illustrious crypto exchange shall contribute $2 million to those gallant political associations who dare to champion our innovative dreams and protect our privacy rights. What a show this shall be!
In a move that’s got Latin America’s crypto aficionados blinking at their screens, OranjeBTC – a company that apparently likes its bitcoins stacked higher than a Jenga tower on a spaceship – plans to go public in Brazil’s B3 exchange come early October. They’ve got 3,650 bitcoins sitting in their vault, which is the kind of hoard that would make Smaug reconsider his weekend plans.
The news broke at Korea Blockchain Week, where WLFI’s co-founder, Zak Folkman, took the stage with the air of a prophet. “Behold,” he declared (or something equally dramatic), “the card and app shall arrive within weeks!” Asia, brace yourself-the financial savior is coming. Or is it just another capitalist carnival? 🎪
The UXLINK tale has taken an unexpected, financially comedic turn: an elusive prankster has shifted the stolen wealth into stablecoins. Early morning transactions yanked approximately 1,620 ETH, translating to a whimsical $6.8 million, directly into DAI. It happened nearly two days post-breach, displaying the cunning ploy of slyly turning misbegotten assets into stablecoin riches while dodging the watchful eyes of detectives. This cheeky move marks the thief’s initial attempt to rub his ill-gotten gains-talk about upping the stakes!
The nuptials went down at Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Antibes, a place so fancy even the doormen probably wear tuxedos 🕴️. For €5,100 a night, you’d expect gold-plated champagne, but no word on that. The guest list read like a Hollywood casting call-Zac Efron, Nina Dobrev, Miles Teller, Chace Crawford, and Coldplay’s Chris Martin, who presumably sang “Yellow” while everyone pretended to be moved 🎤.
The spectacle shall be presided over by none other than Chairman Mike Crapo-a name so fitting for the occasion, one might suspect divine intervention. 🪑 Testifying before him: Lawrence Zlatkin of Coinbase, whose very title (“Vice President of Tax”) sounds like a dystopian job posting, and Jason Somensatto of Coin Center, whose surname suggests he’s either a pasta dish or a minor character in a Solzhenitsyn novel.
