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Behold the little guys-Silo Finance (SILO), Gearbox (GEAR), and Natix Network (NATIX). These are the underdogs of crypto, operating in the “I hope my mom still believes in me” section of the market. Liquidity? Thin as a cracker at a diet convention. But hey, buybacks here might actually make waves. Waves of… something! 🌊

Now, if you’re wondering how they’re doing in the user engagement department, let’s just say the metrics are looking as promising as a cat meme on the internet. 🐱

Apparently, cybersecurity folks finally cracked the code – or at least they cracked the golf ball out of the cyber park. The Embargo ransomware crew, aggressive since April 2024, has funneled a whopping $34 million in crypto. TRM Labs, the truffle-hunting hound of blockchain sleuths, spilled the beans in a recent report. Turns out, saving hospitals from digital doom is the new national pastime, or so we hope.

Saylor’s gamble-a word too gentle for his audacity-thrust him back onto the billionaire’s throne. This, after his infamous $6 billion vanishing act in March 2020. Yes, he lost more in a day than most lose in a lifetime, but who’s counting? Oh right, everyone. But with Bitcoin now, the man’s become a corporate folk hero and meme king. 📈💰

When the GENIUS Act-or, as I like to call it, “Genius, Truly!”-was shoveled through Congress in July 2025, it was as if a bureaucratic hurricane had blown through. Mandating full reserves, federal oversight, and a ‘nice and safe’ customer priority, it seemed quite stiff. But hidden beneath that paper mountain was a little gem: no interest paying for regulated stablecoins. Oh, the irony! 💸🚫

What could possibly have driven this man, who once stood at the helm of America’s crypto ambitions, to abandon ship so swiftly? Speculation runs rampant, like a wild stallion on the plains of uncertainty, as we ponder the implications of his hasty exit for the future of U.S. cryptocurrency policy. Will the ship sail smoothly, or are we destined for stormy seas? 🌊⚓

With inflation data expected to show modest rises, investors are eyeing potential rate cuts that could fuel bullish momentum. A most delicate balancing act, as if a lady’s fan were to sway the tides of fortune-though I suspect the gentlemen in charge of such matters are far less elegant.

Recently, the venerable halls of Harvard University have opened their coffers to reveal a sum of $116.6 million allocated to BlackRock’s IBIT Bitcoin ETF. A sum so grand, one might almost hear the echoes of Ivan the Terrible counting his gold. Meanwhile, the small yet ambitious nation of El Salvador has embarked on a bold venture, welcoming Bitcoin-focused investment banks, while the regulatory bureaucracy in Japan has put a temporary halt to the country’s first crypto ETF.

Yet, dear reader, the tale of Ethereum is not one of unblemished triumph. The altcoin, with its macro bullishness, faces a curious paradox, as the rising tides of Binance inflows threaten to drown its aspirations just as it approaches the shores of resistance.

Cardano (ADA)-once the hope of speculative babushkas everywhere-has already swooned by 2%, like a lovesick clerk left alone with expired kvas. Yet, in an act fit for a tragic opera, the price over the week has staggered upward by 9.29%. Even dead cats bounce, sometimes with panache!