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CME’s Fedwatch tool puts numbers to the hunch: with the target currently at 4.00% to 4.25%, the Oct. 29 path most favored is a trim to 3.75% to 4.00%, priced at 87.7%. 🤯

Bitcoin Meraklısı, a chart wizard with a penchant for dramatics, has declared WLD is “exactly at retest level,” which in trader-speak means it’s basically asking for directions from a pigeon wearing a toupee. A “very sharp” upward move could happen, he claims, though it’s more likely the coin will just sigh and ask for a refund. 🤷♂️

On-chain statistics, that sly confidant of markets, confess a decline in miner accumulation-a drizzle that further dampens the already somber coin’s mood. 😒

PlanD, over on that X thing, laid it all out. Been watchin’ this ETH doin’ its thing for a quarter now. Broke outta a triangle that’d been holdin’ it down for four years, climbed all the way up to $4,953. A triangle, you see, is where the price just kinda mulls around, doesn’t know which way to go. But when it busts outta the top, well, that’s usually a good sign… unless it’s a trick. 😉

Sustained inflows may push XPL toward $2, though profit-taking could trigger a retracement to $1.44 in the coming sessions. A rollercoaster, but with less seatbelts. 🎢

Well, well, well… who knew that a South Korean actress would end up in the crypto scandal spotlight? The one and only Hwang Jung-eum, beloved by fans for her roles in hit dramas like Kill Me, Heal Me and She Was Pretty, has managed to get herself into a mess that could make any K-drama plot seem tame.

Ah, Bitcoin, the tempestuous lover of the financial world, how you toy with us! Just as the Federal Reserve cooed sweet nothings about interest rates, you flirted with $118,000, only to retreat like a shy maiden. September, that cruel mistress, saw you tumble to $109,000, a fall as dramatic as a Pasternak novel. Yet, you tested the depths, and the support held-a lifeline in the chaos. Ali Martinez, that sage of charts, declares $107,200 the Rubicon. Cross it not, and the path to $123,000 beckons like a siren’s call. 🧙‍♂️

He jabbered on to a chap called Danny Knowles (sounds rather dull, doesn’t he?) about how things are going to change “suddenly.” Suddenly! As if a giant, digital beanstalk is going to sprout up and whisk Bitcoin to the moon. Honestly, the man talks like he’s swallowed a dictionary. 🤪

In a Quicktake post on the CryptoQuant platform, crypto pundit CryptoOnchain highlighted a growing negative divergence between Bitcoin’s price and the number of active addresses within the cryptocurrency’s network. 🐍

The Aster people, bless their enthusiastic hearts, orchestrated an X space, and lo and behold, our CZ himself graced them with his presence. He insisted, with a perfectly straight face, mind you, that his involvement is purely *advisory*. Nothing more, nothing less. As if a pronouncement like that settles anything! It’s almost… quaint.