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Spoiler alert: It’s not a one-hit wonder. A week prior, Aster raked in $10 million in daily revenue, while Hyperliquid managed a mere $3 million. Consistency? Check. Dominance? Double check. 🏆

According to the ever-reliable CoinMarketCap (where would we be without it?), ZEC trading went into overdrive, with a mind-boggling 24-hour volume touching $162.8 million. Meanwhile, the global crypto market cap did a little happy jig, up 2.47%, landing at a hefty $3.86 trillion, and total trading volume jumped 52.38%, reaching a jaw-dropping $140 billion. The numbers, they speak for themselves! 📊💰

He tells of a turn in the great machinery of state: a President who looks kindly on the crypto cause and policies that drift across the globe as if blown by a favorable wind. The ecosystem grows sturdier, not by miracles but by the patient craft of builders who code by starlight and investors who count by dawn. Prices rise, as if the sun itself has learned a new way to shine upon the screens; Bitcoin, once timid near the edge of silence, marches to the rhythm of an ascent, Ethereum climbs from modest beginnings to a wider horizon, and Binance Coin is carried along by liquidity and the feverish confidence of the crowd. 😅

BTC had a weekend fling above $109k, then decided to play the stock market’s “Red Light, Green Light” game (thanks, *Squid Game*), soaring to $112,351 before tripping over its own feet. Now it’s lounging at $111,699, up 2% and sipping a mimosa like nothing happened. 🥂

Then, in a shocking twist, the market dropped 9% in 7 days, making everyone wonder if ‘Uptober’ is just a fantasy. 🤔

The price of Ethereum now wobbles at $4,121, having mustered a 2.95% rise in 24 hours, per Brave New Coin’s calculations. The market, still reeling from September’s chaos, sways like a drunkard in a tavern. Yet analysts, with the optimism of a man betting on a horse named “Destiny,” insist Ethereum is destined for five-digit glory. One imagines them scribbling graphs while sipping tea, muttering, “Yes, yes, the stars align.”

Having deployed $502M, CUMIU stands tall as the 11th-largest tokenized product globally, joining the ranks of BlackRock’s BUIDL, Ondo’s OUSG, and Franklin Templeton’s BENJI. 🏆

Behold, the video, that modern-day oracle, reveals glimpses of the projects being crafted in the shadow of the Pi Network. The grand aim? To explore the practical use of Pi, as if the world had not already been inundated with useless apps. Key features of this hackathon, which is both a marvel and a farce, include:

It was a week so brutal, even Willy Wonka would’ve called it quits. Crypto ETFs? More like “Eeek, Flee the Tornado!” funds. Four days of losses, five days of tears. A grand total of $1.69 billion vanished faster than Charlie’s golden ticket. Sosovalue says investors are now dumber than Augustus Gloop in a chocolate river.

MASAK, already the financial world’s version of a suspicious neighbor who watches your comings and goings, will now get to shut down accounts suspected of hosting money laundering, fraud, or anything vaguely shady. It can also hit pause on mobile banking (because nothing says “trust the system” like randomly blocking your phone banking), blacklist crypto addresses, and generally make life miserable for anyone trying to launder money. 🚫