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But wait—just a couple of days ago, Mantra (OM) was proudly boasting about its 640% gain over the last 12 months. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. At last check, Mantra’s once glorious $6-billion market cap has been reduced to a mere $485 million. Somebody cue the sad trombone, please.

The gentleman, a billionaire of some repute (though perhaps more Bitcoin than repute), took to that modern marvel, the X social media network, to declare, with characteristic brevity, that there are “no tariffs on orange dots.” One can only assume he believes himself to be terribly clever. 😂

“Ah, but fear not!” he proclaimed, “for all those shiny gadgets shall soon find themselves ensnared in the web of semiconductor tariffs, a special focus designed to ensure these treasures are brought back to the homeland.”

The maneuver was executed with USDC, transferred from their chief wallet into a trading vessel that’s been around these parts before, according to fresh reckonings by Arkham Intelligence. Ain’t that a twist in the tale?

Our dear CEO, Michael Saylor, has been playing coy on social media, teasing us with clues that MicroStrategy is not done hoarding Bitcoin like it’s the last slice of pizza at a party. He shared a little something on X (formerly Twitter, because why not?) showcasing the company’s Bitcoin portfolio. Spoiler alert: it’s looking pretty juicy.

Enter one Michaël van de Poppe, a fellow who fancies himself a prophet of the crypto realm. This whimsical fund manager has likened our current plight in the realm of Bitcoin to the grand calamity known as the COVID crash of 2020, a time when we all learned that toilet paper was indeed more precious than gold!

Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick casually mentioned on Sunday that the White House’s decision to exempt items like smartphones and computers from those hefty tariffs was just a temporary fling. Who knew tariffs could be so dramatic? 🎭