Meme Coins: The Sad, Whimpering Poodles of Crypto 🐶💸

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On the fateful day of the budget, Carr, in a TRIGGERnometry interview, unleashed his barbs upon the sacred cows of public finance. Why, he demanded, has the UK never established a sovereign wealth fund? Why do the winds that sweep the coast and the black gold beneath the soil enrich only the Crown? 🏰💰 “There are certain things,” he declared, with a wink and a nod, “that should belong to everyone.” A sentiment so radical, it might as well have been carved into the heart of a socialist manifesto-though Carr, ever the contrarian, disavowed such labels. “I’m not a socialist. I’m not even for state capitalism,” he quipped, before advocating for assets that “should belong to everyone.” 🌍🤡
However, Pi Network’s native token, PI, has been a curious exception, holding its ground above $0.20. Notably, this is not the first time such a feat has occurred in recent months. Perhaps it’s time to question whether PI is a phoenix or just a very well-dressed parrot. 🦜
According to the whispers in the crypto corridors (or a press release sneaked out to CryptoPotato), this little launch promises to turn Telegram into a veritable Wall Street of the digital age-minus the bad coffee and sharp suits. Imagine buying, selling, and transferring your stocky treasures directly within Telegram-because who needs a broker when you’ve got chat bubbles, right? 📈💬

From “the market is dead” to “the market is my best friend again” – because nothing says stability like a social media-driven emotional rollercoaster. 🎢😂
Kraken-never one to rest on its laurels-has given its love letter to Alpaca, making it the première source and guardian for those shiny, digitized equities that line Kraken’s xStocks runway. Now, with the addition of the Instant Tokenization Network (ITN), they are serving up real-time minting and redeeming like a maître d’ at a noodle bar-only for fintechs, developers, and the bigwigs beyond U.S. shores. Fancy, isn’t it?
This bill arrives at a moment of profound reckoning for the industry. While the primary market basks in the glow of institutional adoption, the “dark side” of this ecosystem grows with a voracity that would make the weeds in my garden blush. 🌱
Charles Hoskinson, the wizard behind the curtain, declared it an “incredible success” – though one suspects he’s more thrilled about the network’s “stability” than the price. Because, of course, we all know crypto enthusiasts care deeply about fundamentals, not just moon charts. 🚀

The U.S. Department of Justice, which seems to have quite a sense of humor about these things, announced that Onofrio, who probably thought “faking it till you make it” was a legitimate business model, concocted a scheme involving fake real estate investments that could have made even the most seasoned con artist blush.
The proposal, scribbled on the World Liberty Financial governance forum (a place where logic often takes a nap), claims that flooding the market with more USD1 will somehow turbocharge demand for WLFI services. They wrote this with the confidence of someone who’s never seen a market crash.