Binance Issues Royal Decree: Beware Fake Listing Agents 🐍💸

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Binance warns projects about fraudulent listing agents, insists on direct applications, and blacklists charlatans in a bid to uphold crypto’s gilded standards

Binance, with the solemnity of a Victorian butler addressing a rogue penguin, has issued a transparency update cautioning projects against “fake listing agents.” The exchange, ever the paragon of propriety, insists all applications must come directly from project teams-no intermediaries, no snake oil peddlers, and certainly no charlatans claiming to be “Binance-approved.” Amid a surge of scams (one would think founders could distinguish a genuine agent from a disheveled con artist), Binance reaffirmed its commitment to “structured listings,” a phrase that sounds suspiciously like a euphemism for “please stop embarrassing us.”

Binance Clarifies Listing Framework and Blacklists Fake Agents

Internal audits, conducted with the enthusiasm of a tax auditor at a pirate’s treasure chest, revealed several blacklisted entities. These included BitABC, Central Research (a name that screams “legitimacy!”), May or Dannie, Andrew Lee, Suki Yang, Fiona Lee, and Kenny Z. Binance accused these parties of falsely claiming to be “official listing agents,” a claim that, in the crypto world, is about as credible as a moon landing staged in a back alley.

Anyone claiming to assist with a Binance listing is a scammer. 🚨

If you encounter such a fraudster (including rogue consultants or ex-employees who’ve forgotten their coffee mugs), report them immediately. They’ll be blacklisted-and perhaps even published, like a rogues’ gallery for the blockchain age.

I recently had a country…

– CZ 🔶 BNB (@cz_binance)

Rootdata’s data reveals Central Research dabbled in projects like Fireverse, Nebula Revalation, and AKI Network. Only Fusionist (trading as ACE) managed to secure a Binance listing-a triumph akin to winning a lottery while blindfolded. Binance, ever the pragmatist, clarified that investments do not influence listings. One imagines the team now spends their days sipping tea and rolling dice to determine which projects ascend to Binance’s hallowed halls.

Related Reading: Binance News: Binance Unveils Concierge Service for Wealthy Institutional Clients | Live Bitcoin News

The exchange, with the sternness of a schoolmaster, reiterated that it does not authorize brokers or intermediaries. Applications must come directly from project teams. Binance also confirmed there are no listing fees-a bold statement that will surely deter every scammer in the metaverse. Promises of guaranteed listings? Naturally fraudulent. After all, what’s crypto without a little chaos?

To enhance transparency (a term that now feels like an oxymoron), Binance outlined its listing pathways: Binance Alpha, Futures, and Spot. Each stage is tailored for different development phases, a process that sounds suspiciously like a bureaucratic maze designed by a committee of cats.

Binance Alpha is an early discovery platform, ideal for pre-token projects seeking Pre-TGEs, Prime Sales, and airdrops. Community programs like Booster offer early momentum-though one suspects the real momentum comes from caffeine and desperation. Binance Futures allows users to hedge portfolios or speculate without holding tokens, a service that has probably led to more existential crises than actual profits.

Binance Spot offers direct asset ownership, a noble pursuit for those who enjoy purchasing, selling, and holding tokens. Projects may also access Launchpool, Megadrop, or HODLer Airdrops-names that sound like marketing campaigns for a dystopian spa.

Binance Details Listing Requirements and Application Rules

Binance’s listing rollout is a grand procession from Alpha to Futures to Spot, with performance evaluations at each stage. Criteria include product quality (a term that means “not obviously broken”), utility (a vague concept often confused with “enthusiasm”), traction, and user engagement. Compliance and user protection are “leading considerations”-a phrase that now carries the weight of a Shakespearean tragedy.

Additional assessments involve tokenomics (a word that sounds like a new type of headache), team background (ideally involving fewer ponzi schemes), and technical risks (which are always present). For circulating tokens, Binance considers liquidity (a term that now means “not evaporating”), valuation (a number plucked from the ether), and distribution (a process that often resembles a game of Russian roulette).

Binance explained the application process for all listings-Spot, Futures, and Alpha-each with its own form. Only founders or core team members may apply, a rule that excludes every unscrupulous third party currently lurking in Discord servers. KYC information is required; third-party submissions are strictly prohibited, a policy that will surely curb the rise of “crypto consultants” who charge $500/hour to send emails.

Projects using intermediaries face instant disqualification-a fate worse than death for any self-respecting scammer. Offending projects are blacklisted, a punishment that involves being ignored by everyone except your mother. Teams reporting scammers may receive priority reviews, a reward system that suggests Binance is now running a reward program for moral superiority.

Binance reiterated that it never endorses listing agents, a claim that will probably be engraved on a plaque in the Louvre. All communications must be direct, a rule that will undoubtedly be followed by exactly zero people. External consultants are given “no special consideration,” a phrase that now sounds like a polite way of saying “we’re watching you.” Under Binance’s policy, transparency is non-negotiable-a stance that will likely lead to more transparency than the average cryptocurrency whitepaper.

Overall, Binance presented the update as protective rather than restrictive, a claim that will be met with polite laughter and sideways glances. The goal is to build trust within the ecosystem-a term that now carries the same weight as “honesty” in a Ponzi scheme. With crypto markets evolving into a “mature” space, structured governance has become “more critical,” a phrase that sounds like a rallying cry for the blockchain aristocracy.

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2025-12-17 19:47