In a most space-age tweet 🚀, Coinbase’s top guy, Brian Armstrong, dropped a bombshell about why crypto isn’t just a fad; it’s the future! 🧐 How did he do it? By naming three certainties!
“1️⃣ The U.S. government has a strategic Bitcoin stash, y’know, like toilet paper in case of alien invasion.
2️⃣ Regulatory clarity’s been served with fries (and no, we didn’t order crypto).
3️⃣ The biggest financial dragons and tech wizards are casting crypto spells together.
So yes, from what I can see – crypto’s sticking around like bad cologne in Grandpa’s closet.”
– Brian Armstrong (@brian_armstrong) December 13, 2025
As crypto gains in popularity-like a supermodel at a beach party-Coinbase’s stock is soaring faster than a rocket ship. Just last week, Standard Chartered and Coinbase teamed up for a geeky romp through digital assets, exploring wild things like trading and staking with an eye on institutional clients. 🤓💰
Meanwhile, on Wall Street, the big bankers are putting magic dust on the blockchain in capital markets. J.P. Morgan just pulled a rabbit out of its hat by arranging a U.S. Commercial Paper issuance for Galaxy Digital Holdings on the Solana blockchain. And let me tell you, it’s a financial game-changer, folks!
Armstrong, at the latest New York Times Dealbook Summit, whispered sweet nothings about the largest banks working with Coinbase to run tests on stablecoins, custody, and trading. A major win for the crypto hordes! 🎉
Coinbase’s Countdown to… What?
Coinbase is dreading and looking forward to December the 17th-when they’ll unveil trailer-worthy secrets. Recent gossip (courtesy of some chatty nerds) tells us Coinbase plans to roll out a house-made prediction market-powered by the mysterious Kalsh. They say it’s to spruce up the mix of asset classes like adding jalapeños to chili.
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2025-12-14 19:03