ARK’s Crypto Binge: Genius or Madness? 🤔

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Ah, ARK Invest. Those intrepid, some might say recklessly optimistic, adventurers in the financial wilderness. It seems they’ve decided that the market’s little dip is merely an… opportunity. An opportunity, naturally, to scoop up more of those delightfully volatile, blockchain-adjacent equities. BitMine Immersion Technologies and Bullish – names that sound less like investments and more like the titles of regrettable sci-fi novels – are the current objects of their affection. One almost feels sorry for those stocks, relentlessly pursued as they are.

The daily trade disclosures, meticulous little documents they are, reveal a flurry of activity. The ARK Fintech Innovation ETF (ARKF) snagged 18,089 BitMine shares, the ARK Next Generation Internet ETF (ARKW) a further 34,637, and the venerable ARK Innovation ETF (ARKK) – a fund whose name promises much and, lately, delivers…well, let’s not dwell – added a hefty 116,681. A total of 169,407 shares, amounting to a breezy $5.83 million. Casual.

But wait, there’s more! ARKF, not to be left out, purchased 8,063 Bullish shares, ARKW added 15,441, and ARKK, ever the enthusiast, claimed 52,011. Total Bullish acquisitions? A respectable 75,515 shares, meticulously valued at approximately $2.91 million. The dedication is… admirable, if utterly perplexing. 🧐

The truly exquisite part? They were buying as the stocks themselves were performing a rather dramatic impression of a falling soufflé. Bullish tumbled 6.19% to $38.48, BitMine wasn’t far behind, descending nearly 6% to $34.40. A slight recovery in after-hours trading, naturally. A little post-collapse bounce. One must maintain standards, after all.

ARK on crypto buying spree

This isn’t, of course, a sudden urge. No, ARK has been systematically accumulating crypto-related holdings. Last week, they lovingly assembled 542,269 shares of Circle (CRCL), deploying approximately $46 million in the process. $30.4 million on Wednesday and $15.5 million on Thursday – a veritable downpour of capital onto a stock already attempting a graceful descent. Remember when they sold 1.7 million shares of Circle for $352 million? Ah, the bittersweet irony of the market! 🎭

And BitMine continues to benefit from their…attention. On Thursday, another 242,347 BitMine shares were acquired for roughly $8.9 million as the stock flirted briefly with the $37 mark.

BitMine shakes up leadership as its Ether treasury tops $11B

Apparently, BitMine has decided that a change of scenery might be beneficial. They’ve bestowed the role of chief executive upon Chi Tsang, replacing Jonathan Bates. Three new independent board members have also been appointed. One wonders if this leadership shuffle is meant to inspire confidence, or merely distract from the fact that they’re now responsible for over $11 billion worth of Ether. 💰

Yes, you read that correctly. Over $11 billion in Ether. BitMine, once a humble crypto-mining operation, is now a significant Ether custodian, shamelessly mirroring Michael Saylor’s Bitcoin obsession. The pattern is becoming rather… obvious, isn’t it? Perhaps they’re planning to build a monument to Ethereum. It’s conceivable. Anything is, in this delightfully peculiar world of high finance.

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2025-11-15 10:30