Bitcoin’s Silent IPO: Wall Street’s New Joke or the Real Deal? 😂💰

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Jordi Visser, financial wizard and ex-president of Weiss Multi-Strategy Advisers, claims Bitcoin’s price is stuck in neutral because it’s undergoing a “silent IPO” – where OG investors cash out like Wall Street’s version of a slow dance, while newbies tiptoe in with their wallets clutched tight. 🤑

Bitcoin Going Sideways Explained: A Silent IPO and the Changing of the Guard

The Facts

Jordi Visser, financial wizard and ex-president of Weiss Multi-Strategy Advisers, has concocted a wild theory to explain bitcoin’s refusal to ride the market euphoria train that’s currently chugging along with tech stocks and gold. 🚂

In a recent article titled “Bitcoin’s Silent IPO: Why This Consolidation Isn’t What You Think,” Visser suggests Bitcoin is playing the long game – like a Wall Street heist movie where the villains are… also the heroes? 🎬

He argues Bitcoin is undergoing its own “IPO,” with OG investors finally feeling smug enough to pass their BTC to newbies like it’s a hot potato at a family reunion. 🥔

Visser also insists Bitcoin’s low correlation with risk assets (like tech stocks) is because it’s now a “mature” asset – which, if you ask me, sounds like an excuse for it to nap in a sideways price range. 😴

“Early investors aren’t panic-selling. They’re methodically distributing their positions like they’re auditioning for the next season of Shark Tank,” Visser quipped, while new investors “accumulate on dips” like they’re bargain-hunting for crypto at a yard sale. 🧺

Visser also pointed to Galaxy Digital’s $9 billion BTC dump as proof – “This isn’t retail panic. This is OG players exiting like they’re in a Wall Street thriller, but with better lighting.” 🎬

Why It Is Relevant

Visser’s theory explains why Bitcoin, despite hitting record highs, isn’t giving the same ROI as AI stocks or gold – because it’s now “mature” and dating conservative institutions like Blackrock, who treat it like a suspiciously expensive coffee. ☕

“This is a victory for Bitcoin,” Visser said. “It proved itself so well that even the most risk-averse banks are buying it like it’s a discount stock.” 🏦

Looking Forward

Bitcoin’s future will now be shaped by these corporate suit-clad “pragmatists” – who have zero interest in memes or hodlers, but plenty of interest in making BTC a boring, stable asset. 📉

“This isn’t the end of Bitcoin. It’s the end of the beginning,” Visser declared. “Think of it as a plot twist where everyone forgets the plot.” 🌀

FAQ

  • What theory has Jordi Visser proposed about Bitcoin’s current market behavior?
    Visser claims Bitcoin is in a “silent IPO” phase, where OG investors are selling like Wall Street’s version of a passive-aggressive gift card, while newbies are buying in like they’re shopping for crypto on clearance. 🛍️

  • How does Visser explain Bitcoin’s low correlation with other risk assets?
    He blames Bitcoin’s “maturity” – as if it’s suddenly grown up and stopped crashing like a toddler on a sugar rush. 🍬

  • What recent event does Visser use to illustrate his theory?
    Galaxy Digital’s $9 billion BTC sale is “proof” OG investors are exiting like they’re in a crypto version of The Great Escape. 🚪

  • What implications does this theory have for Bitcoin’s future?
    Visser predicts Bitcoin will become a “boring” asset for banks, which is just code for “it’ll stop being fun.” 😴

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2025-11-03 15:09