🤑 Stablecoins: Banks’ Doom or Dollar’s Boom? Coinbase Says Chill, Y’all! 🌍

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Well, butter my biscuit and call me confused! Them bigwigs at the banks are all in a tizzy ’bout stablecoins, claimin’ they’re gonna suck the life outta their precious deposits like a leech at a blood drive. 🤦‍♂️ But hold onto your hats, folks, ’cause the brainiacs over at Coinbase reckon that’s a load of hogwash. According to ’em, stablecoins ain’t out to cannibalize nothin’-they’re just globetrottin’ dollars, spreadin’ Uncle Sam’s green like gospel. 🌎💸

“Stablecoins are the devil, they’ll destroy bank lendin’!” they holler. 🙄 But Coinbase’s policy czar, Faryar Shirzad, ain’t havin’ it. “Nonsense!” he declares, “Most stablecoin demand’s comin’ from folks overseas, not your local farmer lookin’ to stash his piggy bank savings.” 🏦🚫

“Most stablecoin demand comes from outside the US, expanding dollar dominance globally, not competing with your local bank.”

Shirzad, bless his heart, shared a market note that’s as sharp as a tack. Turns out, all this fuss ’bout stablecoins stealin’ deposits is as old as money market funds-just a bunch of worrywarts cryin’ over spilled milk. 🥛💨 “They’re missin’ the forest for the trees,” he says, “Stablecoins ain’t here to rob banks; they’re the new sheriffs in the global financial Wild West.”

Now, the bankin’ big shots are squawkin’ that stablecoins offerin’ yield’ll poach their customers faster than a fox in a henhouse. 🐔💨 They’re beggin’ Congress to slap some handcuffs on these yield-offerin’ scoundrels. But Coinbase’s got a different tune: “Stablecoin demand’s global, not US-centric,” they sing. Most folks usin’ ’em are international types, hedgin’ their bets against their wobbly local currencies. 🌍⚖️

Stablecoin demand is global, not US-centric

Coinbase’s note points out that stablecoins are like a life raft for the underbanked, givin’ ’em a practical way to hitch their wagon to the US dollar. And get this-two-thirds of stablecoin transfers are happenin’ on them decentralized finance platforms, not in some stuffy bank lobby. 🛠️🔗 “They’re the pipes of a new financial system,” Coinbase quips, “runnin’ parallel to, but mostly ignorin’, the ol’ banking rigmarole.”

“Callin’ stablecoins a threat’s like sayin’ the telegraph’s gonna kill the Pony Express,” Shirzad jokes. “They’re strengthenin’ the dollar’s grip on the world, and we’d be fools to shackle ’em.” 🌟🇺🇸

Community banks won’t collapse, Coinbase claims

Now, ’bout those community banks-Coinbase says they ain’t got nothin’ to fret over. The average stablecoin holder’s as different from a community bank customer as a catfish is from a canary. 🐟🐦 “They’re playin’ in different sandboxes,” Shirzad explains, “and banks could even spruce up their services with stablecoins if they’d just open their eyes.” 👀✨

And them predictions of trillions flowin’ into stablecoins? Coinbase says to take ’em with a grain of salt. Even if stablecoins hit $5 trillion, most of it’d be sittin’ pretty in foreign hands or locked up in digital systems, not pilfered from US bank accounts. 🏛️🔒

Coinbase reminds us that US commercial bank deposits are sittin’ pretty at over $18 trillion. “Stablecoins’ impact? Marginal at best,” they say, “while the dollar’s global clout’s gettin’ a rocket boost.” 🚀💼

Meanwhile, the big banks-yeah, the same ones cryin’ doom-are jumpin’ on the stablecoin bandwagon faster than a cat on a hot tin roof. All thanks to the GENIUS Act, which finally gave ’em some rules to play by. 🏛️📜

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2025-10-30 07:41