Hunter Horsley, the whip-smart CEO of Bitwise Invest (and possibly a fortune-teller in disguise), has declared that every single Wall Street institution will be elbow-deep in crypto within the next 12 months. That’s right-every last one. Even the ones that still fax their memos.
“Software is eating the world,” Horsley proclaimed, likely while stroking a crystal ball. “Crypto is going to eat capital markets.” And if crypto eats Wall Street, does that make Bitcoin the financial world’s Pac-Man? 🍒👻
The Great Wall Street Crypto Stampede 🏃♂️💨
Bitwise, in its infinite wisdom, whipped up a chart proving Wall Street is gobbling up crypto trading like a kid in a candy store-except the candy is digital and occasionally vanishes overnight. Big shots like Bank of America, BlackRock, and Goldman Sachs are already knee-deep in the game. Even JPMorgan Chase, which once called Bitcoin a “fraud,” is now whispering sweet nothings to blockchain like a lovesick teenager.
And let’s not forget the ETPs (which stands for “Extremely Terrifying Profits,” probably). Everyone and their grandmother’s hedge fund is offering them now. Bank of America? Check. Fidelity? Check. Goldman Sachs? Double-check with a side of irony.
The “We’re Not That Into Crypto” Phase 🕵️♂️
Private crypto funds? Oh, most institutions are still “just browsing,” like window-shoppers at a Lamborghini dealership. Only a brave few-Citi, HSBC-have dipped a toe in crypto payments. Meanwhile, tokenization is the new “it” trend, with Fidelity and Goldman Sachs leading the charge. Because nothing says “cutting-edge finance” like turning everything into digital tokens. Even your grandma’s cookie recipe could be an NFT by next Tuesday.
$1.3 Million or Bust! 🚀🌕
Back in August, Bitwise boldly predicted Bitcoin could hit $1.3 million in ten years. That’s enough to buy a small island-or at least a very fancy pizza. Institutional adoption is supposedly the rocket fuel for this moonshot, and corporate interest jumped 40% last quarter. So, if you’re not hodling yet, maybe start saving up for that island. Or at least the pizza.
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2025-10-28 09:42