B-? Who Needs A+ When You’ve Got Bitcoin & 🚀? #SaysWho

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In a masterstroke of bureaucratic absurdity, S&P Global Ratings has bestowed upon Michael Saylor’s Strategy Inc. a B- credit rating, thereby relegating the company to the hallowed halls of speculative, non-investment-grade territory-otherwise known as the “junk bond” purgatory. One might assume such a designation would inspire trepidation, but no! Strategy’s stock (MSTR) ascended 2.27% to $295.63, as if investors had collectively shrugged and muttered, “Ah well, at least it’s not a D.”

This marks the first time a Bitcoin-centric treasury company has been so “generously” assessed by a major ratings agency, an event S&P has dubbed a “significant milestone.” How thrilling. One imagines the analysts at S&P convened in a boardroom, sipping lukewarm tea, and declared, “We must rate this Bitcoin thing! It’s the future-or at least the future of confusion!”

S&P Global Ratings has assigned Strategy Inc a ‘B-‘ Issuer Credit Rating (Outlook Stable) – the first-ever rating of a Bitcoin Treasury Company by a major credit rating agency.

– Strategy (@Strategy) October 27, 2025

S&P’s press release, a document more thrilling than a tax audit, lamented Strategy’s “high bitcoin concentration, narrow business focus, weak risk-adjusted capitalization, and low U.S. dollar liquidity” as weaknesses. How quaint. They clearly haven’t met Mr. Saylor, who seems to have mistaken a balance sheet for a Monopoly board. The company holds 640,808 BTC, acquired with the fiscal daring of a man who believes equity and debt financing are synonyms for “opportunity.”

S&P Cites High Bitcoin Exposure, Low Liquidity

“We view Strategy’s high bitcoin concentration, narrow business focus, weak risk-adjusted capitalization, and low U.S. dollar liquidity as weaknesses,” S&P intoned, as though they were pronouncing the death of common sense. One wonders if they considered the possibility that Bitcoin might actually appreciate in value, or if their models are so mired in tradition that they still calculate interest manually with an abacus.

VanEck’s Matthew Sigel, ever the optimist, noted that Strategy is “less indebted than many firms with similar grades, including some airlines and automakers.” A small comfort, like being told your house is on fire but your neighbor’s is too.

Analysts Question S&P’s View

Crypto sage Adam Livingston took to Twitter to call the rating “hilarious,” which is perhaps the most accurate adjective anyone has used in this entire saga. “S&P Global: ‘We are likely to continue to view capital as a weakness, because Strategy’s bitcoin holdings are likely to grow materially.’ So basically, ‘the more Bitcoin they buy, the weaker…’” he quipped, with the precision of a man who has long since given up trying to please the establishment.

Everybody, please read this as it relates to Strategy’s credit rating.

It’s hilarious

S&P Global: “we are likely to continue to view capital as a weakness, because Strategy’s bitcoin holdings are likely to grow materially”

So basically “the more Bitcoin they buy, the weaker…

– Adam Livingston (@AdamBLiv) October 27, 2025

S&P’s stable outlook assumes the company will manage its debt with the grace of a man balancing on a tightrope while drunk. Should Bitcoin’s price plummet, Strategy may be forced to sell BTC at “depressed prices,” a fate as inevitable as a government budget surplus.

What’s Next for Strategy

An upgrade? Unlikely, unless Strategy somehow manages to boost U.S. liquidity and reduce debt dependence. Saylor, ever the visionary, hailed the B- as a “positive,” a sentiment akin to calling a sinking ship a “charming vessel with potential.”

Investors, undeterred by S&P’s pessimism, remain bullish, treating Strategy as a high-stakes poker game where the pot is Bitcoin’s future. Whether this is genius or madness remains to be seen, but one truth endures: in the grand theater of finance, the only constant is the ratings agencies’ ability to make the obvious sound profound.

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2025-10-28 07:03