Crypto’s Rollercoaster Week: $100B Lost, Found, Lost Again… Who’s Paying Attention? 🎢

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Let me get this straight. The crypto market gained $100 billion, lost $100 billion, then gained 3.5%? What is this, a soap opera? 🤦♂️

Bitcoin and Ethereum: Because Why Not?

So the crypto economy decided to throw a tantrum this week. Gained $100B, lost $100B, then casually recovered to $3.83 trillion. Net gain: 3.5%. Exciting stuff. Like watching paint dry, but with more emojis. 🎨

Bitcoin (or BTC, if you’re fancy) started at $107K, shot up to $113.5K, then dropped back to $107K, then rebounded to $111K. Thrilling, no? 🙃 If you’re into whiplash, this is your coin.

Ethereum (ETH) peaked over $4K twice, then dropped like a bad punchline. Closed at $3,934. Net gain: 1.2%. Congrats! 🎉 Meanwhile, BNB had a “meh” week. CZ got pardoned? Hooray!? 🎉 Boosted it to $1,140, then it slumped to $1,100. Guess pardons don’t pay the bills. 🏛️

XRP, though? The comeback kid. 🎬 Closed at $2.60 after a 5% spike. Total week gain: 10.5%. Second only to Hyperliquid (HYPE), which gained 17.7%. Chainlink, DOGE, SOL, and ADA also had modest wins. TRX? Down 5%. Classic TRX. 🙄

FAQ (Frequently Annoying Questions)

  • What happened to the crypto economy? It had a midlife crisis. Gained $100B, lost it, then settled at $3.83T. Classic. 💸
  • How’d Bitcoin do? It’s like a yo-yo. Started at $107K, peaked at $113.5K, then settled at $111K. How’s that for commitment issues? 🤷♂️
  • What about Ethereum? Surpassed $4K twice, then dropped. Closed at $3,934. 1.2% gain. Groundbreaking. 🎉
  • Any winners? XRP (10.5%), HYPE (17.7%), LINK, DOGE, SOL, ADA. TRX? Loser. Down 5%. 🎭

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2025-10-25 23:48