Get ready, folks. Ryder, the company that makes securing your crypto wallet easier than explaining how Bitcoin works, has just secured a cool $3.2 million in seed funding. This is *not* your average crypto startup, folks. We’re talking a game-changer in the making here.
Ryder Scores $3.2M, Courtesy of Tim Draper
Yep, you read that right. Ryder, the people behind the ridiculously simple Ryder One wallet, has wrapped up a $3.2 million funding round. This wallet promises to give you top-notch crypto security in under 60 seconds. That’s right, in less time than it takes to decide if you should buy another avocado toast, you can secure your digital assets.
Leading this cash shower is Tim Draper, the venture capital mogul who’s probably been investing in the future since we were all still figuring out dial-up internet. Other cool kids on the block throwing their money into this startup are Borderless, Semantic, Smape, and VeryEarly. Plus, some crypto rockstars like Anatoly Yakovenko (Solana co-founder) and Joe McCann (CEO of Asymmetric) have decided to back Ryder’s future.
How Ryder is Gonna Use That Sweet $3.2M
Ryder’s not just putting this money in a fancy coffee fund. Oh no. This investment is all about ramping up production, bulking up the engineering and marketing teams, and making sure Ryder One stays at the top of its game. And yes, they’re launching a major marketing blitz so that you’ll see their ads everywhere (because who doesn’t love crypto ads, right?).
“We created Ryder because we lived through the crypto chaos-seed phrases on paper that are either lost or just plain terrifying,” said Louise Ivan Payawal, Ryder’s co-founder and CEO. “We want to make it easier for everyone to handle their crypto without breaking into a sweat.”
Marvin Janssen, Ryder’s CTO, chimed in with some tech talk, but really, it’s all about making crypto *natural*-because why should managing your digital fortune feel like you’re solving a Rubik’s cube?
And Tim Draper, who’s basically the grandpa of Bitcoin, praised Ryder for creating a solution that’s easy to set up but still keeps your crypto locked down tighter than your grandma’s secret cookie recipe.
The Future is TapSafe (and It’s Secure)
Enter Ryder One’s TapSafe recovery. Yes, it sounds like something you’d find in a high-tech spy movie, but it’s *real* and it’s making seed phrases obsolete. The way it works is simple: you store backups on your phone and NFC Recovery Tags, and if you lose your wallet, you can combine them to recover your crypto. Like a secret agent mission, but without the tuxedo.
Say goodbye to the one-point failure of seed phrases. Ryder One’s TapSafe solution is redundant and self-custodial, so you’re not relying on a paper slip that could easily vanish with one accidental coffee spill. You can back up your wallet and get it secure in under a minute. Let’s be real, even if you’re a slow typer, you can do this in less time than it takes to find your keys.
Making Crypto a Part of Your Daily Life
Ryder’s big dream? To help you spend your crypto just like regular money. That’s right. Soon, you’ll be able to tap to pay with your crypto directly from your hardware wallet using Ryder’s companion app. It’s like a crypto version of Apple Pay, but hopefully with fewer glitches.
Tim Draper, ever the Bitcoin fanboy, is betting that we’re heading toward a world where retailers might only accept Bitcoin as payment. (Spoiler: We’ll probably need a few more margaritas to get there.) Tim’s also been behind the success of crypto giants like Coinbase and Robinhood, so if anyone knows how to spot a good investment, it’s him.
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- tag, not repeated as a header. They want all images retained and no tags or color styles. First, I’ll start with the title. The original title is “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” I need to make it more clickbaity and Terry Pratchett-esque. Maybe something like “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” That’s under 100 characters? Let me check: “Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸” – yes, 97 characters. Good. Next, the body. The first paragraph talks about the rollercoaster week with whale activity and liquidations. Terry would probably compare it to something absurd. Maybe a “rollercoaster” isn’t enough. Maybe “the Hyperliquid rollercoaster took a detour through a black hole” or something. Also, mention the whale trader with a humorous twist. Maybe “a certain whale with a penchant for drama and a balance sheet thicker than a fantasy novel” to add that Pratchett flair. The second paragraph about the $19 billion event. Maybe refer to it as “the Great Liquidation of Doom” or something. “fresh on the backdrop” could be “fresh from the annals of ‘Oh My Goodness, Not Again'” to add humor. In the price analysis section, the 8% drop. Terry might compare it to a “graceful swan dive into a puddle of despair.” The market cap and volume up 4.22%-maybe “panic selling and algorithmic trades are having a party where the only music is the sound of wallets sobbing.” The technicals part: slipped below SMA lines. Maybe “HYPE decided to play ‘hot potato’ with its moving averages.” MACD and RSI-describe them as “momentum indicators are throwing a hissy fit” and RSI “hovering near 41 like a nervous pigeon.” The FAQs need to be rewritten with sarcasm. “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming?” could be phrased as “Why is Hyperliquid underperforming? Well, let’s see. It’s like asking why a duck is bad at chess…” Then mention the technical breakdowns and whale shorts as “a perfect storm of technical breakdowns and whale-sized shorts.” Next support level: “The $33-$35 range is the next critical support zone…” Maybe “the $33-$35 range is where hopes go to be gently soothed by Fibonacci fairy dust.” Recovery question: “HYPE needs a sustained close above $41.42…” Maybe “HYPE needs to do the equivalent of a sober caber toss over $41.42.” Throughout, add emojis where appropriate. For example, after mentioning whales, add 🐋💸. In the FAQs, maybe 💩 for the underperforming question. Check for all images retained. The figure tag is there, so leave it as is. Avoid using tags, no color styles. Ensure the title is only in the tag and not as a header. The original had H2 headers, so keep those but maybe tweak the text to be more whimsical. Like “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” becomes “Hyperliquid Price Analysis (Or: The Day the HYPE Died?)” Wait, but the user said not to repeat the title in the body as a header. The original title was “Hyperliquid Price Reversal, Will Bears Drag HYPE Down to $35?” but the new title is different. So the H2 headers should be original, so the first H2 can stay as “Hyperliquid Price Analysis” but maybe add some humor there. Alternatively, maybe “Hyperliquid’s Great Adventure in the Land of Red Arrows” or something. But need to make sure it’s not the same as the title. Also, ensure that the humor is consistent throughout, with a bit of sarcasm and playful language. Avoid markdown, just HTML. Check for any tags and remove them. Use , , , etc., as in the original. Finally, wrap it all in HTML structure with the new title, and ensure emojis are appropriately placed without overdoing it. Let me go through each section step by step and inject the humor, sarcasm, and emojis as per Terry Pratchett’s style.End of Thought (23.26s) Hyperliquid’s Great HYPE-Drama: Bulls vs. Bears in a Deathwobble of Doom 🐂🐻💸
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2025-10-18 18:54