France’s Fiendish Plot to Fry Crypto Exchanges in a Pot of Regulation Soup 🧙‍♂️🔥

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Update (Oct. 17, 2025, at 11:00 am UTC): This article has been updated to add commentary by a Binance spokesperson. Because nothing says “trust me” like adding a last-minute whisper from the shadows.

France’s banking regulator, a certain ACPR (a rather cheeky acronym if ever there was one), has decided to play detective with Binance and its crypto chums. Why? Because nothing says “I’m in charge” like dusting off the Anti-Money Laundering (AML) magnifying glass and pretending you’re Sherlock Holmes. All this while Paris winks at the EU, saying, “Dear, let me take the wheel of this regulation circus.”

According to a Bloomberg report (delivered by a mysterious owl, naturally), the ACPR is snooping around Binance and “dozens of exchanges.” Sources, who are probably hiding under their desks, say these checks began last year and are as secretive as a toad in a tea cup. The ACPR allegedly told Binance to tighten its risk controls. A Binance spokesperson, with the grace of a startled gazelle, said, “Engagement with the ACPR is an ongoing component of operating as an AML-registered company.” Translation: “We’re being watched. Again.”

The spokesperson added that these reviews are “routine,” which is about as routine as brushing your teeth but with more paperwork. They also proudly noted that the ACPR is checking “dozens of exchanges.” Oh, how very considerate of them! These inspections, they say, are to verify compliance with AML and Counter-Terrorist Financing (CFT) rules. Last year, Binance was gently asked to “strengthen its compliance.” One imagines a polite letter with a tiny mustache drawn in the margin.

Companies are typically given months to fix issues-usually by hiring more compliance staff, because nothing says “trust” like piling on more humans with clipboards. The goal? Strengthen risk controls and cybersecurity. Or, as Roald Dahl might say, “If you want to catch a crook, you’ll need a net… and maybe a net of nets.”

France’s Grand Gesture: A Power Trip with a Side of Drama

This new scrutiny arrives as France dons its cape and declares, “I shall be the hero of European crypto regulation!” In September, France hinted it might block crypto firms using licenses from other EU countries. The French securities regulator, AMF, claimed this would “undermine the passporting system” introduced by MiCA. But here’s the kicker: AMF chair Marie-Anne Barbat-Layani admitted this would be a “serious breach of trust.” Still, she left the door ajar, like a villain in a pantomime. “It’s still a possibility we hold in reserve,” she said, with the enthusiasm of someone holding a loaded grenade.

France’s Grand Piano of EU Control

The Bank of France, ever the dramatic, recently begged the EU to hand the Paris-based ESMA the keys to the crypto kingdom. Governor François Villeroy de Galhau warned of “fragmented oversight,” which sounds suspiciously like his way of saying, “I’m not a fan of chaos, unless it’s my own.” He argued that national regulators might enforce rules unevenly-a problem when your industry is growing faster than a chocolate factory in a diabetic’s dream.

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2025-10-17 14:57