London’s IPO Woes: A Farce Fit for the Stage! 🎭

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Ah, the grand spectacle of finance! Behold, the UK government, in a twist of comedic genius, hath enlisted the aid of Goldman Sachs to rescue London’s ailing IPO market. A tale so absurd, it could only be penned by the likes of Molière himself! 😂

Chancellor Rachel Reeves, alongside the illustrious Anthony Gutman of Goldman Sachs, shall grace a private roundtable this Monday. Their noble quest? To woo executives from tech and growth sectors, promising London as the ideal stage for their IPO debuts. A pitch so bold, it doth rival the greatest farces of our time! 🎭

London’s Stage: Still Fit for Tech and Crypto Stars? 🌟

The Treasury, ever the diligent playwright, hath organized this gathering to glean insights into London’s allure as a listing destination. Alas, recent reforms shall be paraded like actors in a masque, all to bolster the city’s waning competitiveness. A performance so grand, one wonders if the audience shall be convinced! 🤔

Lucy Rigby, the newly anointed city minister, shall join this ensemble, while Gutman presents a soliloquy on the IPO sector’s current state. A scene so urgent, it mirrors London’s listing crisis, which hath plummeted to a 30-year low in August. A tragedy, indeed! 😢

Once the pulsating heart of global equity markets, London now languishes in 23rd place for IPO fundraising, outshone even by Mexico. Proceeds, according to Bloomberg, have plunged 69% to a mere $248 million-the lowest in 35 years. A fall from grace so dramatic, it doth rival the greatest tragedies of the stage! 📉

“This year’s largest London IPO-an April offering from accountancy MHA Plc-raised a paltry £98 million ($132 million). No Wall Street giants in sight; instead, small local players like Cavendish Plc and Singer Capital Markets took center stage. The third quarter? A mere $42 million in deal volume, down 85% from last year. A performance so lackluster, it doth leave the audience in stunned silence!” quoth Baron Investments, citing Bloomberg. 🤭

Competitors, ever the critics, deem Goldman’s presence at this Treasury-led meeting most unusual. A free pitch, they cry, for the US bank to woo companies considering their listing destination. A plot twist so cunning, it doth rival the greatest comedies of intrigue! 🤑

Yet, this partnership doth reflect a growing anxiety in Westminster and the City. London, they fear, may permanently lose its crown to New York, where the IPO market roars back to life, fueled by crypto and AI firms. A rivalry so intense, it doth recall the greatest duels of the stage! ⚔️

London’s IPO Decline: A Tragedy as the US Soars 🦅

The timing of the Treasury’s outreach could not be more poignant. Data from Barchart reveals London raised a mere £160 million ($215 million) across five deals in the first half of 2025-its weakest performance since 1995. A decline so steep, it doth leave one breathless! 🚨

London Has Fallen 🚨

London’s IPO market plunges to its worst level in AT LEAST 30 years 📉

– Barchart (@Barchart) August 22, 2025

Meanwhile, US exchanges raised a staggering $28.3 billion across 156 listings, driven by next-generation tech and digital asset firms. Companies like Circle Internet Group, Bullish, and Figure Technology have seen their shares soar post-listing. A triumph so grand, it doth leave London’s performance in the shadows! 🚀

The US, it seems, hath become the new magnet for founders seeking liquidity, visibility, and strong valuations. London, alas, is left to ponder its fate, as investors and analysts blame regulatory hurdles, ESG mandates, and high stamp duty for deterring founders from going public. A lament so familiar, it doth echo through the halls of finance! 😔

“Sad reality… The problem is that the EU makes the same mistakes over and over again. It will not change. Innovation is killed by regulation in the EU before it’s viable…They destroy all potential by overregulating when it’s not needed,” wrote crypto analyst Quiten.eth. A critique so sharp, it doth cut to the heart of the matter! 🔪

Financial experts like James Graham argue that the London Stock Exchange’s DEI requirements-board diversity quotas and costly environmental disclosures-are anti-meritocratic impositions that make IPOs less attractive for growth-stage companies. A stance so bold, it doth spark debate across the realm! 🗣️

If you IPO in Britain, the London Stock Exchange (LSE) will subject you to DEI.

To IPO you must commit to 40% women on your board, a woman in a top job and an ethnic minority director.

For founders focused on growth, this is an anti-meritocratic imposition that must go.

– James Graham (@jamesd_graham) September 30, 2025

The Treasury, ever the optimist, insists it is working to “make the UK the best place for businesses to start, scale, list, and stay.” New measures, they promise, shall enable change, including a Listings Taskforce and potential stamp duty exemptions for IPOs. A plan so ambitious, one can only hope it doth not end in farce! 🤞

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2025-10-05 23:22