Trump’s Crypto?! 🚨 It’s HUGE!

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Oy vey! World Liberty Financial – backed by the Trump family, can you believe it? – is unleashing a whopping 27 billion WLFI tokens upon the world! According to those smart fellas at CoinMarketCap, this is like letting loose a flock of… well, very expensive pigeons. 🐦

Now, hold on to your yarmulkes, folks! It was supposed to be a mere 3.69 billion! A pittance! A schnook! But NOOOO, they’re going for the big number. Twenty-seven billion! That’s more than I owe the IRS! 💸

CoinMarketCap’s CEO, a very serious man named Rush Lu (sounds like a sneeze, doesn’t it?), says they “repeatedly confirmed” this with the WLFI team. Repeatedly! Like they needed convincing that they were releasing a mountain of tokens. And now the big exchanges – Binance, Gate, and MEXC – are getting ready to trade this thing. What could *possibly* go wrong? 🤔

We at CryptoMoon tried to get a straight answer from the WLFI folks. They’re harder to reach than my Aunt Mildred on a Saturday night. Still waiting…don’t hold your breath! 💨

WLFI to unlock portion of user allocations (Or, How to Get Your Tokens… Eventually)

So, last Tuesday, they let people stick their WLFI tokens into a “vesting lockbox.” A lockbox?! What is this, Fort Knox? It’s like they’re hiding a secret stash of…liberty. What kind of liberty needs a lockbox? 🧐

Turns out, 20% gets released right away to the early investors. A little *schmear* for getting in on the ground floor. The other 80%? Well, that’s up to a vote. A vote! It’s democracy… in crypto! (Don’t ask me to explain that one.)

And get this: the rules can CHANGE! They can tinker with it! They can do whatever they want! It’s like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall! 🤪 The community gets to decide… which means chaos, obviously.

On July 5th, they started a proposal to make the tokens tradable. Genius! Because what’s the point of having a token you can’t trade? Unless you just like *looking* at it. Then on July 10th? 99% said yes! Ninety-nine percent! I haven’t seen numbers that high since I underestimated the cost of my last production! 🎭

WLFI derivatives near $1 billion open interest (A Lot of Money, Let Me Tell You!)

Before the big unlock, people were betting nearly a BILLION dollars on this thing! A billion! And then it cooled off a little to $887 million. Still a lot of money. Enough money to buy a small country…or a really, really nice toupee. 💰

This “open interest” thing means people are excited! Or recklessly optimistic! One of the two.

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2025-09-01 12:07