One experiences a certain frisson upon hearing that Michael Saylor, Strategy’s co-founder and insatiable connoisseur of digital baubles, has yet again signaled the imminent purchase of Bitcoin (BTC). Yes, dear readers, “signaled”-the corporate equivalent of approaching the roulette table with a faintly manic glint in one’s eye, ready to bet the firm’s champagne budget.
The last time our intrepid strategists made a splash was August 18, when they snapped up a modest 430 BTC for the princely sum of $51.4 million. Their piggy bank, at this dazzling moment, brims with 629,376 BTC-enough to cause even the most jaded banker to choke on his gin and tonic. That’s over $72 billion, give or take a few fluctuating billions (the sort that evaporate before afternoon tea).
SaylorTracker, a website apparently dedicated to the noble sport of watching rich men get richer, insists that Strategy is sitting on a 56% gain. This amounts to $25.8 billion in unrealized gains-unrealized being the operative word, since this is crypto we’re discussing. 🚀💸
August has been a lean month, reminiscent of a society ball with only stale sandwiches left by midnight. Usually Strategy bulks up with thousands (or tens of thousands) of BTC like a hungry aristocrat at an open bar. But this time, a paltry 585 BTC in two transactions. Are they dieting? No one knows. 🍾
Now, Strategy still parades about as the grande dame of corporate BTC hoarders-largest treasury, widest margins, and Saylor, ever the high priest of Bitcoin, out there “orange-pilling” both investors and institutions. If your bank manager looks ruddy and agitated, he’s probably just been orange-pilled.
Strategy’s Acquisition: Unlikely to Send Bitcoin Prices Into a Minuet
Enter Shirish Jajodia, Strategy’s corporate treasurer (a job which involves wrangling large numbers and egos). In dialogue with podcaster Natalie Brunell, Jajodia claimed their BTC shopping sprees are rather discreet affairs-over-the-counter deals, private rendezvous, furtive handshake agreements-rather like settling your debts post-chequers, but with more zeroes.
According to Jajodia, “Bitcoin’s trading volume is over $50 billion every 24 hours.” Quite a number, even by Mayfair standards. So what of Strategy’s billion-dollar dip? Practically nothing, he assures, with the air of a man who’s just snapped his fingers for another martini. 📈🍸
Strategy accumulates BTC as energetically as a society matron amasses hats. All this, whilst their stock languishes like unclaimed lobster at a stuffy dinner. Shares hit a four-month nadir on Wednesday (around $325), only to rally to $358. Even the stock price indulges in a bit of drama-perhaps it learned from Saylor himself.
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2025-08-24 19:56