Celsius Unleashes $220 Million to the Suffering Masses-Can They Finally Get Paid?

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Ah, Celsius, the once-proud cryptocurrency lending platform now reduced to a shadow of its former self, wandering through the legal labyrinth in search of a glimmer of hope for its creditors. Today, as if it were some grand act of redemption, it has announced the third distribution of funds to those poor souls who’ve been waiting for their due. A whopping $220.6 million, to be exact, carefully doled out through the court-approved mechanisms. How generous! 🙄

After showering the creditors with a mere 93 percent of what they were owed last year (because why give it all at once?), Celsius now promises to bless them with the rest-just in time for August 20, 2025. The restructuring plan, which birthed the grand idea of the Bitcoin mining company Ionic Digital, aims to maximize recovery for these beleaguered souls. Who wouldn’t trust a mining company to save the day, right? 😏

Where Does This Glorious $220 Million Come From, You Ask?

Well, my dear reader, prepare yourself for the financial magic trick of the century. A neat $63.2 million of the Celsius funds will be neatly funneled into legal fees and other administrative expenses (because who needs money when you can pay lawyers?). As for the ever-controversial Alexander Mashinsky and his merry band of related entities? They’ve contributed a modest $17 million from disallowed claims. Just a token, really.

And here comes the fun part: a juicy $86.4 million from the mysterious reserve release of disputed and contingent claims. For those who think that’s all-fear not! Another $46.3 million comes from forfeited claims, while a final touch of $7.7 million graces us from expunged claims. Quite the smorgasbord, isn’t it? 🍽️

Let’s Dive Into the Magnificent Distribution Plan

Now, brace yourselves. The distribution of funds will mostly occur in Bitcoin (BTC) and Ethereum (ETH)-you know, the stuff that keeps the cryptocurrency enthusiasts up at night. But of course, the approved creditors must first pass the sacred Know-Your-Customer (KYC) rituals to even have a chance at receiving their loot. Oh, and just to spice things up, Coinbase Global Inc. (NASDAQ: COIN) and PayPal will be leading the charge. Because nothing says “we’re serious” like PayPal, right? 😒

For the fortunate corporate creditors, though, the winds of fortune may blow a little differently. They might get their funds in the beloved United States dollar. How nostalgic! Meanwhile, the equity shares of Ionic Digital (because who doesn’t love a bit of speculative mining company stock?) will help the defunct Celsius repay a higher recovery plan to its beleaguered creditors. Some even predict that creditors could receive anywhere from 67 percent to 85 percent of their original holdings. A small price to pay for trust in the system, don’t you think?

But hold onto your hats, my friends, because there’s a little warning for the anxious: with the rise of these financial lifeboats, there’s also a surge in phishing scams. So, don’t fall for it-your rightful funds are out there, but not in your inbox! 📧🚫

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2025-08-20 02:17