So, 211 portfolio managers, managing a whopping $504 billion, were basically like, “What was I, Picasso, to decorate my portfolio with crypto?” Lo and behold, all their artistic masterpieces have absolutely ZERO paintings of digital pie. Bless.
It’s Just Math Set to Music
A tiny slice – only 3.2%! – of these Picasso wannabes think it’s hip to own something digital, but guess what? Average that out across all of them, and it’s a measly 0.3%, like that one tiny unicorn in the fantasy stock universe.
Our favorite crypto-baddie, ETF crooner Eric Balchunas, claps back and says, guys, remember when you skipped U.S. assets in early 2025? Spoiler alert: they did a full 180 comeback. Nailed it, right?
Stocks: The Middle Child is Suddenly the Favorite
Plot twist: equities are having a moment. Like, a 12% hotter-than-July sway towards global stocks! Emerging markets are swinging Madonna-level high. But, American stocks, yeah, they’re getting valuations worse than a used car lot at an open-house sale.
Crypto’s sitting at the back, picking its nose, holding firm at 9% structural allocation. Even though Bitcoin’s sashayed into 401(k) retirement plans this month-people are just not there for it.
Everything Else is Ground Hog Day for Macro-Economists
Across the board, everyone’s facing-palm mode. 41% predict global growth getting weaker by next year. Inflation boo-boos are creeping up. Bonds are rocketing bonds, trade wars are still a thing, and the Fed’s policy is anyone’s guess. And cash? Sleeping beauty at 3.9%, just shy of its 4% scream moment.
Wall Street: Missing Out Like My Mom on Trendy Shoes
Seriously though, some finance gurus are like, “Hey, you’re ignoring the cool kid in town!” Ryan Rasmussen of Bitwise says, “Crypto isn’t just making beats; it’s crushing benchmarks like a boss.” But for now, crypto lives its life as simply “that thing I can’t be bothered with at the moment.”
Whatever you do, don’t take this as real-life financial advice! It’s just like my idea for a novel that’s never gonna get published. Always do your own homework (or pirouette to a financial advisor). Heads up, people! 📈💸
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2025-08-18 09:22