Crypto Institutions Still Relying on the Dinosaur Playbook – Time to Wake Up! 🦖💸

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Ah, the eternal saga of financial folly! Jeff Park of Bitwise, a man with a twinkle in his eye and perhaps a shred of hope, insists that the venerable old-school playbook-crafted by some Yale wizard named Swensen-just doesn’t cut it in the wild, neon-lit jungle of crypto. Instead of hoarding coins like a dragon guarding its gold, he suggests that institutions should be diving headlong into liquid strategies that dance to the tune of volatility. Yes, dear reader, the chaos of it all is not a bug but the feature, or so they say. 🎢💥

Old Models, New Fools?

“The venture space is capped,” says Park, “liquid markets aren’t.” Because what’s more fun than pouring your cash into a limited bottle when you could be splashing in the endless fountain of crypto liquidity? 💧💸

Volatility: The Hero of Crypto?

Traditionals see volatility as risk-a four-letter word. Park, however, views it as crypto’s shiny, turbocharged superpower. If the S&P 500 juggled with 70% volatility, private equity’s returns would be… well, let’s just say a lot less exciting. Crypto’s chaos creates a playground of nonstop, scalable opportunities-if only you know how to play the game.

Bitwise’s Liquidity Love Affair

Bitwise, that daring outfit of financial acrobats, spins multi-strategy products-arbitrage, trend-chasing, market-making-all trying to catch the crypto lightning bolt. Park is convinced that the next wave of big institutional investors will be those brave enough to embrace crypto’s liquid chaos, instead of running from it like hyperactive cats. 🐱⚡

He even sprinkles some Swensen magic-talking about backing “imprudent” bets-because, after all, what’s life without a little reckless gambling? Crypto, in his eyes, is just the latest rebellious offspring of that old-school, underdog, contrarian legacy. But only if institutions ditch their outdated, dusty models and get with the program.

Warning: This article is for entertainment only-probably. Do your own research or consult a financial guru, unless you enjoy gambling with digital coins and a dash of chaos.

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2025-08-18 08:25