When Life Gives You Lemons, Make a Cryptocurrency IPO 🍋

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Ah, the Cayman Islands. A tropical paradise known for its pristine beaches, zero corporate taxes, and now—cryptocurrency exchanges with lofty ambitions. Bullish, a crypto outfit backed by billionaire Peter Thiel (who else?), is trying to raise $629.3 million through an IPO in the US. Because apparently, you can’t just print your own money when you’re already a billionaire. Who knew? 😏

Under the ticker symbol “BLSH” (presumably chosen by someone who really likes fish or aggressive marketing slogans), Bullish plans to offer 20.3 million shares priced between $28 and $31 each. This gives them a valuation of $4.2 billion. Not bad for a company that’s essentially trying to sell you digital Monopoly money. According to a Form F-1 SEC filing dated Aug. 4, this is their big second attempt at going public. Their first try in 2021 aimed for a jaw-dropping $9 billion valuation, but that dream was shelved faster than you can say “blockchain.” Executives blamed the delay on the process taking too long, which is rich coming from people working in cryptocurrency—a field where transactions can take literal hours. 🕰️

This time around, they’ve dialed back their expectations to less than half the original figure. Call it optimism tempered by reality—or maybe just good old-fashioned desperation. Either way, it seems like someone finally realized that even unicorns need to eat occasionally.

Second Time’s the Charm: Turning IPO Cash into Stablecoins 💸

Coinspeaker recently broke the news that Bullish quietly filed paperwork for this current IPO on July 11. But wait, there’s more! The newly released Form F-1 reveals some juicy details about what they plan to do with all that sweet IPO cash. Spoiler alert: they’re not planning to buy yachts or private islands (well, probably). Instead, they’ll direct underwriters—including financial heavyweights like JP Morgan, Jefferies Group, and Citigroup—to convert a “significant portion” of the proceeds into stablecoins. Yes, those boring yet dependable cousins of Bitcoin that everyone loves to hate but secretly relies on.

This move could be great news for stablecoin issuers, especially after Circle’s recent successful IPO raised $1.05 billion. It’s almost as if the entire crypto industry has decided to throw a party and invite regulators along too. Speaking of which, let’s not forget the recent wave of crypto-friendly legislation in the US, courtesy of the GENIUS Act passed during the Trump administration. Whether this act lives up to its name remains to be seen, but one thing’s for sure: the ripples are spreading far and wide across both crypto markets and traditional finance. 🌊

So here we are, watching history unfold—or at least another mildly entertaining episode in the saga of cryptocurrency. Will Bullish succeed where others have stumbled? Or will this IPO join the growing pile of overhyped blockchain ventures that never quite lived up to their promise? Only time will tell. And possibly lawyers. Definitely lawyers. 👨‍⚖️

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2025-08-05 01:01