tag, not repeated in the body. The original title is “Rich Dad Poor Dad Author Warns of 1929 Crash Coming, Says Bitcoin Is The Saviour”. To make it more Bulgakov-esque with humor and sarcasm, maybe something like “The Financial Wizard Predicts Doom: Bitcoin or Bust! 💸🔮” Let’s check the character count: that’s 69 characters. Good. Next, the body text. The original starts with Robert Kiyosaki’s warning. Bulgakov might mock the seriousness with some irony. Instead of straightforward statements, use metaphors or comparisons to absurd situations. For example, comparing the market crash to a devil’s ball or something surreal. The part about Bitcoin failing to hold $119k: add humor by personifying Bitcoin as a fickle lover or something. Maybe “Bitcoin, that capricious lover of libertarians, slipped below the $119,000 mark…” In the section about Kiyosaki’s tweet, exaggerate the doomsday scenario. Maybe liken it to a scene from “The Master and Margarita” where Woland predicts chaos. Use sarcastic remarks about 401ks being filled with stocks as a tragic comedy. The blockquote needs to be presented in a way that highlights the absurdity, perhaps comparing Buffett and Rogers to characters escaping a burning circus. When talking about silver, gold, Bitcoin, maybe use a metaphor about a witch’s brew or alchemy. Kiyosaki’s investment priorities: mock the idea of sitting tight with gold and Bitcoin by comparing it to a paranoid millionaire hoarding relics. The national debt part can be a dramatic statement about the empire collapsing, with a touch of sarcasm about printing money until the printing press breaks. Ensure all images are retained (though there are none in the original text). Avoid using tags and color styles. Use , , , as in the original. Add emojis where appropriate but not overdo it. Maybe after the title, and in the Bitcoin mention. Check for sarcasm, humor, Bulgakov’s flair. Keep the HTML structure intact but rewrite the content accordingly. Let me piece it together step by step, ensuring compliance with all the user’s requirements.End of Thought (24.75s) The Financial Wizard Predicts Doom: Bitcoin or Bust! 💸🔮

In the grand tradition of prophets cloaked in velvet and paranoia, Robert Kiyosaki—the high priest of fiscal enlightenment and author of the gospel according to “Rich Dad Poor Dad”—has summoned the crypto-illuminati with a dire warning: the guillotines of economic apocalypse are sharpening their blades. 🚨

Meanwhile, Bitcoin, that capricious lover of libertarians and meme-stock enthusiasts, has once again abandoned its post at the $119,000 checkpoint, slinking back to the shadows of last week’s price trenches like a thief caught mid-heist. 🖤

Kiyosaki’s Apocalyptic Omen: 1929’s Spiritual Sequel 🎭

“Brace yourselves, dear sheeple-investors,” crooned Kiyosaki in a tweet that echoed through the void of cyberspace. “The stock market’s about to reenact the 1929 spectacle, but with better special effects and worse haircuts.” He ominously hinted that the coming crash would make the Great Depression look like a minor plot twist in a telenovela. 📉

He then turned his gaze to the modern-day pyramids of retirement—401(k)s—stuffed to the brim with stocks “like a magpie’s nest of shiny trinkets.” But lo! The sages of Wall Street, Warren Buffett and Jim Rogers, have fled this gilded trap, swapping their paper fortunes for cold, hard cash and silver. “They’ve traded Monopoly money for survival kits,” he declared, as if unveiling a secret society’s playbook. 🗝️

Silver, gold, and Bitcoin, Kiyosaki proclaims, are the unholy trinity of assets destined to rule the post-apocalyptic economy. “When the lights go out,” he whispers, “these will be the only things worth more than your neighbor’s spleen.” 🔮

As for his own strategy? “I remain anchored,” he intones, “like a paranoid millionaire clutching relics in a storm.” His portfolio, a menagerie of gold, silver, and Bitcoin, awaits the collapse of fiat empires. And the U.S. debt? “A Frankenstein’s monster of fiscal irresponsibility,” he sneers. “You can’t print your way to prosperity forever—unless you’re a wizard. And even then, probably not.” 🧙♂️