Ethereum’s Next Upgrade: Will It Break the Internet or Just Your Brain? 🤔

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Behold, Ethereum is about to undergo yet another upgrade, because apparently, blockchain developers have nothing better to do than constantly tinker with things that already sort of work. This one aims to boost scalability and efficiency—because who doesn’t want their crypto transactions processed slightly faster than continental drift?

Enter Fusaka, the upgrade with a name that sounds like a rejected sushi roll. While its release remains as tentative as a cat deciding whether to sit on your keyboard, testing is moving forward at what can only be described as “blockchain speed.” A new devnet is expected this week, featuring 11 proposed improvements. Among them is EIP-7825, which promises to strengthen security and scalability—because nothing screams “trustworthy” like code written by people who wear hoodies indoors. Meanwhile, features like EIP-7907 and the controversial EVM Object Format have been dropped, presumably to make room for more bugs. 🐜

Two public testnets are scheduled for September and October, keeping developers busier than a barista during pumpkin spice season. All this is happening ahead of Devconnect in Buenos Aires, which kicks off on November 17. Internal discussions reveal some mild panic about whether the timeline is realistic, but hey, when has realism ever stopped the tech world? 🚀

And if you thought that was it, hold onto your hats (or your NFTs, depending on your fashion sense). The next phase, dubbed Glamsterdam, is already looming on the horizon for 2026. Its features will be confirmed on August 1, including a potential halving of Ethereum’s block time. Developers claim this could revolutionize DeFi performance, though we all know it’ll probably just lead to more memes about failed transactions. Meanwhile, validator votes suggest raising the gas limit to 45 million, because why not? At this rate, we might as well start paying for coffee in ETH. ☕

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2025-07-21 18:28