Picture the scene: Somewhere in the hazy, gilded drawing rooms of the crypto-elite, a slumbering wallet containing 6,000 BTC—untouched since the era of meme stocks and avocado toast—gets an unexpected awakening after six years. Naturally, the crypto community is positively electrified, as if someone had suggested serving Babycham at Blenheim.
As our trusted oracle Lookonchain solemnly tweets, the sleepy behemoth abruptly transferred all 6,000 BTC, now worth a cashmere-swaddled $649 million, out into the wider world in the dead of digital night. 🤑 One imagines the wallet’s owner, monocle askew, peering blearily at a dusty ledger, muttering, “Oh, bother, is Bitcoin still a thing?”
A wallet that has been dormant for 6 years transferred all 6,000 $BTC($649M) out 4 hours ago.
The wallet received 6,000 $BTC($58.77M at that time) at $9,796 on July 25, 2019.
— Lookonchain (@lookonchain) July 8, 2025
Let’s cast our minds back to July 25, 2019: Bitcoin at a mere $9,796 per coin; the wallet, in a fit of youthful exuberance, received enough digital currency for a few paltry manors—about $58.77 million. Fast-forward to our present, and the same stack of Satoshis now boasts a Titanic-sized gain of 1,004%. If only one could say the same for the fortunes of the British aristocracy. Or the pound sterling.
The sudden exodus of such a hefty sum has naturally caused the crypto classes to perspire into their silk pajamas. Such reanimations tend to happen when early adopters, institutional high priests, or those fabled figures known as “hodlers” finally lose patience—or perhaps their passwords.
Whales’ Awakening: Or How to Frighten Billionaires With Your Napping Habits 🐋
Drowsy whales are all the rage this season. Why hoard coins for years when you can cause a market panic in five minutes? Not to be outdone, some Ethereum antiquarian, presumably having finished cataloguing their rare Beanie Babies, has roused their own slumbering stash and sent 1,140 ETH worth $2.88 million sailing through cyberspace. (To think it was acquired at $0.31 apiece! It’s enough to make a Rothschild weep).
Last week, eight ancient Bitcoin wallets, presumably wearing digital cobwebs and the faint air of mothballs, suddenly shuffled 80,000 BTC (roughly $8 billion) around, in what one might call the crypto equivalent of the Queen moving her corgis.
Not to be overshadowed, yet another clutch of wallets, dormant since the Satoshi Era—when crypto-adventurers wore real hats—moved a humble 10,000 BTC. Each wallet now holds over $1 billion, representing what statisticians might delicately term a 13.9 million percent windfall. Even the most seasoned colonial governors would blush at such returns.
As of this writing, Bitcoin itself is lolling about at $108,923 per coin—far better than the rates at most country house auctions, and certainly requiring less dusting.
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2025-07-08 16:31