Once upon a time, Jeremie Davinci—a man who, by sheer luck, stumbled onto Bitcoin before it was “cool,” and before your uncle started mansplaining the blockchain at Thanksgiving—decided to impart some wisdom to his fellow digital prospectors. This is the same Davinci who, if family legends are true, bought Bitcoin for the price of a latte and now could probably buy the entire Starbucks franchise just for spite.
A Masterclass in Keeping Your Cool (Featuring Absolutely No Feelings)
So what’s Davinci’s sage advice for the poor souls still hodling their crypto and thinking about maybe, just maybe, paying rent with Dogecoin profits? It goes like this: “Make a plan and execute it with zero emotions…That’s how you win.” Yes, you heard it here first—remove all human feelings. Trading crypto is like assembling IKEA furniture, only with more existential dread and the occasional urge to throw your phone out the window. 🪙📉
Make a plan and execute it with zero emotions.
That’s how you win.
— Davinci Jeremie (@Davincij15) July 8, 2025
Scientists (and several ex-girlfriends) agree: emotional decision-making is about as effective in investing as bringing a kazoo to a chess match. Apparently, executing your “plan” like a cold, calculating robot increases your odds—unless your plan is “buy high, sell at existential crisis.” In which case, best of luck 🍀. Behavioral economics supports this: turns out, Spock would have crushed it in crypto.
The HODLing mantra has transformed what began as a desperate typo into the battle cry of nerds everywhere. This theory is also beloved by influencers like Michael Saylor, the man who treats Bitcoin like it’s a limited-edition Beanie Baby and keeps hoarding as if the blockchain were running out of room. His company, Strategy, awkwardly named so everyone just calls it “Saylor’s Crypto Stash,” has apparently collected close to 600,000 Bitcoins. What does he plan to do with them? Open a Bitcoin theme park? Who knows.
Inspired by mythology (or perhaps his own bank balance), Davinci repeated himself over the weekend, extolling the virtues of “stacking” Bitcoin when nobody else believes. Because when society collapses, and they’re using Satoshis as Monopoly money, only true “stackers” will be legends—unlike the rest of us, left holding expired Blockbuster cards and regrets.
How Much Bitcoin Do You Deserve? According to Samson Mow, Not Much!
Enter Samson Mow, a man whose job description includes explaining why you, yes YOU, don’t have enough Bitcoin. Apparently, there are 21 million Bitcoins, which—in classic crypto fashion—are sliced and diced into 2.1 quadrillion Satoshis. Divide that by the 8.1 billion folks on planet earth, and you get 259,259 Sats per person. Or, to put it bluntly, about 0.0026 BTC. At today’s rate, that will buy you a strong cup of coffee and maybe a stale croissant. 🥐💸
Do whatever it takes to get to 259,259 sats.
— Samson Mow (@Excellion) July 7, 2025
Let’s be honest: the whole “equal distribution” idea sounds lovely—right up until BlackRock and Michael Saylor come through like Monopoly players with hotels on Boardwalk. Your slice of the pie suddenly looks more like a crumb.
Still, Mow insists you should, “Do whatever it takes to get to 259,259 sats.” Maybe rob a piggy bank? Sell a kidney? Or, you know, just keep scrolling Twitter and hope for the best.
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2025-07-08 14:50