If you ever find yourself wandering Pakistan with nothing but dreams, a hoodie, and a cell phone signal, you might bump into Changpeng Zhao—CZ for those of us who prefer not to sound like we’re trying to seduce a robot. You may know him as the former CEO of Binance, or maybe you just know him as the guy who can cause small financial heart attacks in a single tweet. Either way, he’s at it again, prophesying that Bitcoin is on its way to a cool one million bucks. Yes: six zeros, not counting the inevitable decimal nightmare lurking behind the scenes.
But as with any magical prophecy, there’s a catch. And, as usual, the catch is so slippery that trying to pin CZ down on timing is like trying to schedule a dinner with Bigfoot. He responded to some X post where someone invoked his million-dollar Bitcoin vision—probably while sipping overpriced coffee, thinking, “Maybe I’ll finally buy a Lambo this cycle.” CZ’s reply: an invitation to “define this cycle,” followed by the emoji equivalent of a polite giggle. 😁 Not suspicious at all, coming from someone in crypto.
define “this cycle”? 😁
— CZ 🔶 BNB (@cz_binance) July 4, 2025
For context, the over-caffeinated author @UmairNauman_ was referencing an earlier prediction from when CZ was in Pakistan, talking to Bilal bin Saqib, the crypto council guy (you know, the council that probably assembled itself after watching too many superhero movies). In that conversation, CZ claimed that governments would eventually hoard Bitcoin the way I hoard socks I’m convinced I’ll someday find the match for. The earlier you buy, the richer you’ll be—or at least, that’s the plan, assuming your government doesn’t suddenly decide socks make a useful reserve currency, too.
CZ clarified his stance—sort of—by saying he didn’t actually mean Bitcoin would be stacking commas this year, but someday, “over time.” Because nothing says confidence like the timeline of a toddler’s nap: indeterminate, full of hope, and liable to end in tears.
On to the next episode of Crypto Oddities: apparently, three so-called “Satoshi-era” wallets (the kind of thing you expect to require a dusty old attic and a treasure map) have just stirred to life after 14.2 years. 💤🛌💤 Yes, after more than a decade of dormancy—and possibly being mistaken for modern art—these wallets collectively dumped 30,000 BTC onto new, anonymous accounts.
Back in 2011, these wallets stored what today would fetch the cost of Luxembourg, but back then was worth the price of a suspicious laptop from Craigslist. As Whale Alert helpfully screamed on Twitter:
💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 A dormant address containing 10,000 #BTC (1,088,378,525 USD) has just been activated after 14.2 years (worth 34,023 USD in 2011)!
— Whale Alert (@whale_alert) July 4, 2025
What caused this blockchain hibernation to end? Maybe the owners found their private keys wedged behind the sofa with last year’s Christmas cards, or maybe they woke up, realized it was 2025, and decided it was time to buy a kingdom. More likely, they just remembered their password was “password123.”
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2025-07-04 16:11