Get Ready to Trade Your Life Away on X! 💸

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Ah, the illustrious Linda Yaccarino, the chief executive of X, has graced us with a revelation! Soon, dear users, you shall wield the power to invest and trade right from the cozy confines of your social network. “You will be able to live your whole financial life on this platform,” she declared, as if we were all waiting with bated breath for this digital miracle. 🙄

From Tweets to Trades: X to Launch Finance Features With U.S. Rollout First

In a dazzling display of corporate charisma, Linda Yaccarino took center stage during an interview at the Cannes Lions Advertising Festival. She unveiled the platform’s next grand leap into the abyss of finance. Yes, folks, soon you’ll be able to invest and trade directly through X, because who needs a bank anymore? 😂

In her conversation with the Financial Times (FT), Yaccarino proclaimed that the United States will be the first to experience the wonders of X Money. Imagine, a world where you can tip your friends and buy products all in one place! What a time to be alive! 🎉

“You’ll be able to come to X and be able to transact your whole financial life on the platform,” Yaccarino explained, as if we were all just waiting for permission. “[Alongside] peer-to-peer payments, store of value, pay a creator, watch a pay-per-view.” Because nothing says financial freedom like watching cat videos while managing your investments! 🐱💰

Yaccarino added:

I wouldn’t be here spending a jam-packed five days if we didn’t have tremendous partners along with us. And by partners, I mean those who haven’t fled the scene yet! 😅

Oh, and let’s not forget, she hinted at the possibility of X rolling out its very own branded credit or debit card. “A whole commerce ecosystem and a financial ecosystem is going to emerge on the platform that does not exist today,” she told FT, as if we were all just waiting for the next shiny object to distract us from reality. 🪙

Yaccarino’s remarks about X’s partners seemed to be a clever jab at reporters who were pressing her on the company’s financial woes. FT’s write-up pointed out that advertisers have exited Elon Musk’s X in what can only be described as “droves.” But hey, who needs advertisers when you have dreams of financial empires? 🤷‍♂️

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2025-06-19 18:03