Wall Street Weds Crypto: BlackRock’s BUIDL Breaks the Internet

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Let’s be real, if you told me BlackRock would one day moonwalk into crypto trading, I’d have snorted oat milk out my nose. But here we are: BlackRock’s blockchain brainchild, BUIDL, is the “IT bag” of digital assets and is now waltzing onto the glamorous trading floors of Crypto.com and Deribit. Yes, that BlackRock—where the sums are fat and the suits are starchier than my love life post-lockdown.

So, what’s BUIDL when it’s not sounding like something you shout at IKEA? It’s a digital money market fund, which basically means you get a blockchain-y version of U.S. Treasurys. It came to life in March 2024 with backing from Securitize, and it promises about 4.5% annual interest. (Insert applause, and possibly an upside-down spreadsheet emoji. 📉) Money has flocked in faster than influencers to free merch—$2.9 billion already, starring cameo appearances from wallets like Ondo Finance and Ethena Labs.

Cue dramatic press release: Michael Sonnenshein of Securitize declares this “a major turning point.” (Honestly, every press release claims this, but this one sounds slightly less like a plot twist on “Succession.”) Suddenly, boring old Treasurys are “programmable productive capital.” Translation: they’re not just dusty parking spots for cash, they’re like your friend’s side hustle—except this one actually makes money. 💸

Why are traders excited? Because using BUIDL as collateral is basically like showing up at the casino with both cash and a winning lotto ticket. Crypto.com’s 140 million users (give or take a million Discord bots) can now use BUIDL for all their wild institutional shenanigans. Meanwhile, Deribit—which flings $1.1 trillion (with a T!) worth of crypto options around like confetti—is swapping its old-school Bitcoin collateral for something more “stable.” BTC, meet your replacement. Try not to sulk.

Adding spice to the chaos, Coinbase is now acquiring Deribit for $2.9 billion. Will this create the Starbucks-ification of crypto collateral? Probably. Could BUIDL soon appear on Coinbase, making tokenized Treasurys the new avocado toast of DeFi? Watch this space.

But wait, there’s more: now you too can say, “my collateral comes with a coupon for 4.5% yield—does yours?” and feel smug until the next market crash.

Conclusion: The lines are officially blurred, the plot has thickened, and somewhere, an old-school banker is clutching their pearls. 🍸

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2025-06-18 17:57