You Won’t Believe How Nobitex’s Crypto Millions Vanished—Blockchain Blunders Exposed!

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If only the walls of Nobitex could speak, perhaps they would sigh, “Not again…” Their digital vaults, spread out under the shadowed dome of the blockchain, have met the invisible hand—no, not the benevolent one Adam Smith preached about, but the mischievous five-finger discount of the modern era. 💸

The figure: seventy-three million. Not in rubles, but in those ethereal digital tokens, vaporous as hope in a Siberian winter. On June 18, a post emerged—Telegram, naturally, refuge for those who prefer their news with a dash of paranoia—declaring yet another breach. The investigator, ZachXBT: half-detective, half-cryptic prophet in a hoodie. He identified assets flowing from Nobitex—Tron, EVM, you name it, as if hackers had flung open the barn doors and led off the whole herd. Only some were confirmed lost; the rest may yet resurface. Somewhere. In theory. 🌫️

Picture the attacker hunched at a desk, painstakingly crafting a “vanity address.” Why settle for dull addresses when you can include a personal manifesto? “TKFuckiRGCTerroristsNoBiTEXy2r7mNX.”—not exactly subtle, but effective. Nearly $49 million marched out in a salute worthy of a corrupt commissar. Second address? Maximum laziness or existential commentary: “0xffFFfFFffFFffFfFffFFfFfFfFFFFfFfFFFFDead.” At least someone’s got a sense of humor. 🪦

In 2025, crypto hacks are enjoying a renaissance, but without the art. Already, $2.1 billion has evaporated, according to CertiK—the blockchain security firm whose employees probably sleep with one eye open, wallet under pillow. Think of it: the GDP of a small microstate, gone poof. ✨

The twist, as Ronghui Gu from CertiK laments, is that hackers got bored of wrestling open the code and now prefer to prey on—what else?—human weakness. Wallets compromised, keys misplaced, operators who should have been sent to a salt mine instead of a server farm. “Operational issues,” says Gu. Somewhere out there, a wallet’s owner is facepalming into infinity.

And for those who can’t even be bothered to hack, social engineering is the new vodka. Address poisoning lets scammers sit back and let the eager, inattentive send their coins into the jaws of oblivion—all dressed up as legitimate addresses, smiling with the calm assurance only a con artist can muster. 🍸

The tale is not yet finished. There will be updates, perhaps a confession, more likely just silence and cold digital winds. Meanwhile, somewhere, a hacker is giggling, blockchain explorers weep, and the rest ponder where exactly their millions have run off to. Maybe on a beach somewhere—or perhaps, waiting for the next fool.

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2025-06-18 11:04