Amazon and Walmart Enter the Crypto Circus: Are Stablecoins the Next Seinfeld Episode?

First slowly, then all at once. Just like aging, back hair, and realizing your doctor is suddenly younger than you.

You remember when crypto was that shady thing your nephew wouldn’t shut up about at Thanksgiving? “It’s the future, Uncle Larry!” Now look: Amazon, Walmart—these are the most boring, stable companies on earth. Suddenly, they want their own stablecoins! Because paying VISA a fee for nothing is too much—even for them. God forbid anyone make a profit off Jeff Bezos or the Walmart heirs. Of course, it all depends on Congress passing the GENIUS Act. GENIUS! I mean, congressmen using the word “genius”—that’s how you know we’re doomed. 🤦‍♂️

But wait, there’s more! Societe Generale—yes, the French, with their tiny cups of coffee and big opinions—are now dropping their own stablecoin on Ethereum and Solana. Jack Ma has his Ant Group sniffing around Hong Kong and Singapore for licenses. It’s like stablecoins are the new avocado toast—everyone wants in, nobody knows why, half the people will just get gas.

The whole world is losing its mind for these little dollar-pegged tokens. They’re supposed to be “better money”—fast, cheap, and efficient. Allegedly. I’ve seen the future, and honestly, it looks suspiciously like the same money, but now your grandmother has to ask about private keys over dinner. 🥴

The CLARITY bill is also making the rounds—finally, Congress wants to add some “guardrails” for crypto. Because the only thing more fun than the SEC is throwing the CFTC into the mix. Perfect, just what we needed: more acronyms.

The market? Well, apparently it likes Congressional drama. There’s a tsunami of new funds, bitcoin accumulation “vehicles” (what, like Ubers with ledgers?), and Anthony Pompliano spinning up a $750 million bucket. That’s a lot of Elon Musk memes for one man to handle.

Still not convinced? Paul Tudor Jones says bitcoin belongs in every portfolio. So if you lose money, blame Paul. That’s why you can’t spell “future” without F-U.

//cdn.sanity.io/images/s3y3vcno/production/43cc97b01b832b70b50c537be19d7bb82952146c-700×430.png”/>

Solana’s SOL Falls 8% to $147 Despite Standard Chartered’s $275 Year-End Target

ADA Drops 6% as Cardano Community Debates $100M Stablecoin Liquidity Proposal

NEAR Protocol Surges 4% After 12.8% Correction, User Growth Shines

ATOM Tumbles 9% as Crypto Market Plunges Amid Middle East Tensions

SharpLink Acquires $463M in Ether, Shares Remain 66% Lower

Cardano’s Charles Hoskinson Suggests Swapping $100M of ADA for Bitcoin, Stablecoins

Bitcoin Tumbles Below $104K as Israel Strikes Iran

Single Bitcoin Trader Loses $200M as Crypto Bulls See $1B Liquidations

Walmart, Amazon Mull Dollar-Pegged Stablecoins in the U.S.: WSJ

Cynthia Lummis Proposes Artificial Intelligence Bill, Requiring AI Firms to Disclose Technicals

Bitcoin Miner Price Targets Raised to Reflect Improved Industry Economics: JPMorgan

Read More

• Gold Rate Forecast

• SOL PREDICTION. SOL cryptocurrency

• USD THB PREDICTION

• RENDER PREDICTION. RENDER cryptocurrency

• XRP PREDICTION. XRP cryptocurrency

• USD IDR PREDICTION

• ARB PREDICTION. ARB cryptocurrency

• CNY RUB PREDICTION

• EUR CAD PREDICTION

• GBP EUR PREDICTION

2025-06-13 21:26