Gold to Hit $3600? The Crazy Predictions That Will Make You Laugh

Once upon a time, in the not-so-distant land of financial chaos, gold decided to throw a tantrum and march upwards, much like a spoiled nobleman demanding his due. Last week, Donald Trump, in his infinite wisdom or sheer boredom, dithered on European tariffs, giving gold a reason to dance with joy. This week, the Ukraine-Russia saga reared its ugly head, causing gold to puff up its chest and surge like a peacock at a mirage. 🤡🔥

Just imagine, gold now comfortably cavorts over the $3350 mark, aiming for the glorious $3400 and perhaps even dreaming of a new high above $3500—because why not? It’s like a kid dreaming of a candy store while the world burns around him. 🤑💰

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As before, the wise sages say: buy gold, preferably during small retracements. Ah, the eternal wisdom—buy low, sell high, or so they say. Now, let’s dissect the key levels for gold’s unpredictable adventure in this weekly forecast of June 2nd to June 6th, 2025. Grab your monocle and a stiff drink; it’s going to be a bumpy ride! 😏

Last week’s forecast: a comedy of errors and profits

In our previous prophecy, we pointed out a 4-hour zone—$3260 to $3208—as the prime location for gold’s next romantic rendezvous. Good news! The price shot up a staggering 1100 points from that “danger zone,” and now everyone’s gazing wistfully at $3400 and beyond. Who knew predictions could be so accurate? Certainly not the bank accounts of those who followed with reckless abandon. 😂

And those other levels we whispered about last week? Still lurking, waiting to surprise us—like a cat in a dark cellar. Keep an eye out! 👀

The economic circus: who will perform next?

What shall this week’s macroeconomic clowns reveal? The U.S. is scheduled to release some reports—some might say “theatrics”—that could sway the shiny metal’s destiny. Prepare your popcorn! 🍿

Monday, June 2nd:

ISM Manufacturing PMI

If the PMI figures are higher than the moon, expect Uncle Sam’s dollar to strut around confidently, bringing gold down like a sad clown. But if the numbers are weak, gold might just start a dance of its own, laughing all the way to the bank. 🥴

Fed Chair Powell’s Speech

If Mr. Powell hints at aggressive policies, the dollar will rise, and gold will sulk in the corner. But if he whispers sweet nothings about dovish policies, gold might just smile again, as if it were a foppish nobleman after too much wine. 🍷🤵

Tuesday, June 3rd:

Job Openings at JOLTS

More jobs mean a stronger dollar, and gold gets the sniffles. Fewer jobs? Gold chuckles and rises in mirth. The employment market is the court jester of currencies!

Wednesday, June 4th:

ADP Non-Farm Employment Change

If the labor figures are strong, the USD will strut proudly, and gold will look like a neglected stepchild. But a weak report? Gold prances happily, whispering sweet recession dreams. 💤

ISM Services PMI

A mighty good services PMI supports the idea that everyone’s working, the economy’s hearty, and gold is just a shadow of its former self—hoping for a rainy day. 🌧️💎

Thursday, June 5th:

Unemployment Claims

If claims drop, the economy appears robust, making gold sad like a lost puppy. Rising claims? Gold gets its party hat on, celebrating the hurricane coming to town! 🌪️

Friday, June 6th:

Average Hourly Earnings m/m
Non-Farm Employment Change
Unemployment Rate

Higher wages could threaten inflation, making the Fed tighten like a corset, which on gold’s part, means a sad face. But if employment jams up, gold will probably find a cozy hiding spot, trembling in its boots. 🥶

Gold’s high-flying view: the lofty perspective

Gold, after a pretty nasty swim below $3200, now stands bullish as if it’s just discovered the secret to eternal riches. Targets? $3435 and $3500 are the new playgrounds. If gold breaks below $3120 on the weekly chart, it’s game over—time to find another financial folly! 🤡

Next week’s gold: a dance of bulls and bears

In all lower time frames, gold radiates bullish vibes—like a bride at her wedding. The sweet spot? The levels of $3303-3295 at the weekly open, and the nearby zone of $3325-3336, where brave traders can perhaps find their luck—or their folly. Remember: support levels are like good friends—always there when you need them, unless they suddenly disappear! 😅

Strategies for your gamble—er, investment

Gold’s best friend this week? Buying in the dips, holding on tight, and resisting the urge to sell in panic—because that’s what a true gambler (or wise investor) would do. Selling? Not this week, unless you enjoy heartbreak and empty pockets. 💸

Support levels to trust (or pretend to):

$3325-3336 – the 30-minute support, and perhaps a fairy-tale entry point
$3303-3295 – the hourly zone where the brave may attempt their luck

2025-06-02 22:51