Elon Musk’s New XChat: Bitcoin Encryption or Bitcoin Bluster? 🤔

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If you thought social media was just for cat memes and awkward family photos, Elon Musk is here to shake things up. His newest brainchild—XChats—promises “Bitcoin-style encryption,” which sounds like a clever way to make your private messages as secure as a secret recipe for grandma’s lasagna. 🍝

So, XChat is basically a souped-up version of the messaging feature we all ignored on Twitter—now with audio, video, and the thrilling ability to send files like your favorite embarrassing selfies. Musk proudly announced this on June 1 via X (yes, we’re calling it that now), claiming it’s built on Rust, which I assume is some kind of robot language designed to confuse anyone who tries to understand it.

Apparently, just days before, X paused its old encrypted messaging, maybe to concentrate on this shiny new toy. Because nothing says “security” like “Bitcoin-style encryption,” right?
This got the crypto crowd buzzing—Bitcoiners everywhere comparing XChat’s encryption to the security of, say, a door left wide open. Samson Mow, the CEO of JAN3, scoffed that “Bitcoin isn’t encrypted,” implying maybe Musk’s encryption is as real as a unicorn in a llama costume.

Then came the crypto influencers with their overly complicated explanations involving elliptic curve cryptography—a fancy way of saying “security that’s almost impossible to crack unless you’re a math genius or a hacker from a 90s movie.” Bitcoin, they say, uses this cryptography to keep your coins safe while you pretend to understand the math. Meanwhile, Luke Dashjr, a Bitcoin core developer, casually pointed out that “Bitcoin doesn’t even use encryption,” which is a nice reminder that not everyone agrees on what’s secure and what’s just fancy code.

TechCrunch reports that XChat is rolling out to those willing to cough up some cash—probably because secure messaging should cost, or at least be protected by a four-digit passcode, because what could possibly go wrong?

X Money: Musk’s Next Crazy Idea

Just in case you weren’t overwhelmed enough, Musk also dropped hints about “X Money,” a payments feature set to launch in beta later this year. Because what’s more fun than sending money to your friends while secretly hoping none of your savings vanish into thin air? He’s very careful about who gets in early—probably because with money, unlike messages, a mistake isn’t as funny.

Since buying Twitter (which he now calls X) in October 2022, Musk dreams of turning it into an “everything app,” with features that make WeChat look like a rotary phone. So watch out, Facebook—I mean, Meta—there’s a new social superpower in town, armed with encrypted messages, payments, and probably a lot more surprises no one really asked for.

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2025-06-02 08:03