Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg Gets Call from Vegas to Buy Bitcoin

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Is Zuckerberg About to Make the Boldest Move Since Changing Facebook’s Name? 🤔💰

Well, gather ’round, folks, for I bring tidings from the glittering oasis of Las Vegas, where the Bitcoin Conference is in full swing, and the air is thick with the scent of opportunity and a hint of desperation. Our good friend, Matt Cole, the head honcho of Strive Asset Management, has taken it upon himself to give a nudge—or perhaps a hearty shove—to none other than Meta’s own Mark Zuckerberg, suggesting he might want to toss a few shiny Bitcoins into the corporate treasure chest.

“The case for putting Bitcoin on your corporate balance sheet has never been stronger,” Cole proclaimed, as if he were delivering a sermon on the mount. He pointed to the looming specter of global debt and the ever-dwindling value of our beloved currency, urging companies to rethink their cash hoarding strategies. Because, you see, when the going gets tough, the tough get… Bitcoin?

— The Crypto Times (@CryptoTimes_io) May 28, 2025

“Right now, Bitcoin is over a $2 trillion market cap,” he continued, waving his arms like a magician revealing his greatest trick. “And just look at the macro picture! We’re in the midst of a global fiat debt crisis, and M2 is rising faster than a cat on a hot tin roof!” He was practically frothing at the mouth, pointing out how the purchasing power of dollars is slipping away faster than a greased pig at a county fair.

Cole, in his infinite wisdom, reminded us that inflation isn’t the only beast we should be wrestling with. “It’s not enough to just look at inflation,” he said, “you’ve got to consider the rise of asset prices, like stocks and homes.” Because who doesn’t love a good game of financial whack-a-mole?

He then tied this whole Bitcoin hullabaloo back to Meta’s penchant for artificial intelligence and innovation. “Meta has been a leader in preparing for our AI future,” he said, patting Zuckerberg on the back for his audacious name change from Facebook to Meta. “Bravo, my good man! You’ve taken the first step toward a brave new world!”

But wait, there’s more! Cole warned that companies that don’t keep up with the times might find themselves as relevant as a rotary phone in a smartphone world. “If you look back to the Internet era, there was a 50% turnover in the S&P 500 over 30 years. We believe a similar turnover is on the horizon, thanks to AI disruption in the next decade.”

In a grand finale worthy of a circus ringmaster, Cole made a direct appeal to Zuckerberg. “Mark, you’ve already taken step one. You’ve named your GOAT Bitcoin. Now, I implore you to take step two: adopt a bold corporate Bitcoin treasury approach and vote yes on proposal number 13!” And just like that, the call to action echoed through the halls of corporate America, as more companies ponder the prospect of Bitcoin as part of their financial strategy.

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2025-05-28 23:51