Square Turns on Bitcoin with Lightning — Who Knew? 💸⚡

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Hold onto your hats, chaps! At the glittering Bitcoin 2025 bash in Las Vegas—yes, where the neon drips like honey—attendees will be the first in the universe to have a jolly good try at the latest Marvel of Modern Magic. From May 27th to 29th, you can waltz into the BTC Inc. fete, and give this new-fangled payment gizmo a whirl at their merchandise merry-go-round. 🎰

Forget those sluggish, wallet-draining blockchain scrapes—Square’s got the Lightning Network, which is faster than a jackrabbit on a date and just about as cheap as a pie at a penny arcade. That means you, dear shopper, can buy your lucky charms and fortunes without the usual headache. 💡

Snazzy Tools for the Business Boffins Embracing Bitcoin

Square’s Point of Sale app now supports a native Bitcoin caper—accept payments in Bitcoin using what your granddad called “the usual hardware.” Talk about mixing the old with the new—like a cucumber sandwich with lobster salad. 🥪🦞

This shiny update is built on the 2024 Bitcoin Conversions feature—imagine, converting part of your takings into Bitcoin without losing your marbles. It’s a tidy way for stoic shopkeepers to keep their leads in the money game without getting skinned by those pesky payment processors. 🎩

As Miles Suter, the Bitcoin bigwig at Block, sagely remarks, “This makes it jolly straightforward for a humble coffee shop to get paid instantly—and keep more of the stuff.” Which, frankly, is better than getting a telegram from the bank about their latest fees. ☕💰

For the punters—yes, the lovely folks with the QR codes and the eager eyes—paying is a lark. Scan a code, and bang! Sorted. Square does all the behind-the-scenes figure juggling with exchange rates and confirmations. Like magic, but with fewer rabbits and more zeros. 🐇

Cooking Up a Booming Bitcoin Ecosystem

Block, the clever chaps behind all this fuss, already champs at Bitcoin support—what with Cash App for buying and selling crypto, and Bitkey, their snappy self-custody wallet that launched in March 2024. Fancy stuff, that. It’s got more security tricks than Fort Knox and no seed phrases, just a bit of wizardry for inheritance and emergencies. 🔒✨

And the mining side of things? Block’s spun out Proto, an enterprise for democratizing bitcoin mining—so even the humble shmoe with a shed and a hope can join the party. Meanwhile, Spiral throws its hat into the ring, funding open-source projects that champion financial liberation. Yes, the same kind that makes you want to jump in an ice bath in celebration. ❄️💸

All in all, Block’s spreading bitcoin love like jam on toast, turning everyday life into a crypto carnival—one gadget, one product, one laugh at a time.

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2025-05-28 09:59