You Won’t Believe Who’s Bargain-Hunting for Mt. Gox Bitcoin! 🤑

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Strive Enterprises, that asset management chimera conjured by the ever-ambitious Vivek Ramaswamy, has declared—perhaps with a flourish of velvet gloves—its intention to scoop up “distressed” Bitcoin claims. Yes, dear reader, some of these claims are the battered relics of the infamous Mt. Gox estate, that digital Atlantis swallowed by the sea of cyber-misfortune. This revelation slithered forth via a partnership with the enigmatic 117 Castell Advisory Group, whose name alone suggests secret handshakes and mahogany-paneled rooms. The goal? To snatch up Bitcoin exposure at a price so discounted it might as well come with a coupon clipped from the back of a cereal box.

The SEC filing, that modern-day oracle, whispers of a hunt for claims already blessed by the legal gods but not yet distributed—think of approximately 75,000 BTC languishing in bankruptcy limbo, like golden apples in a garden guarded by bureaucratic dragons. By acquiring these claims at prices that would make even Scrooge McDuck blush, Strive hopes to inflate its Bitcoin-per-share metric and outshine BTC itself over the long haul. Ambitious? Certainly. Audacious? Undoubtedly. A little bit cheeky? Absolutely.

Strive is spinning this as a value play, offering investors a taste of Bitcoin without the sticker shock—like ordering caviar and being charged for fish sticks. The company frames this maneuver as part of a grander scheme to exploit inefficiencies in the crypto credit market, which is about as efficient as a three-legged race at a family reunion.

Vivek Ramaswamy’s journey with Strive

Vivek Ramaswamy, who co-founded Strive in 2022 with the zeal of a man determined to upend every acronym in sight (ESG, DEI—watch your backs), championed shareholder primacy and capitalism scrubbed clean of politics. He then pirouetted away from his Executive Chairman post in 2023 to chase presidential dreams, leaving Matt Cole to mind the store.

Ramaswamy’s cameo at DOGE was brief—blink and you’d miss it—before he vanished again, perhaps to plot an Ohioan political escapade or simply to enjoy the Buckeye State’s finest chili.

Under Cole’s stewardship, Strive has blossomed into wealth management and embraced Bitcoin with the fervor of a convert at a revival meeting, aiming to become the first publicly traded asset manager with a Bitcoin treasury. Though Ramaswamy no longer haunts the executive suite, his ghostly fingerprints remain all over Strive’s ambitions—or so the company insists with a wink.

Strive’s merger with Asset Entities

The filing also hints at a proposed merger between Strive and Asset Entities Inc.—a union promising greater scale and access to public capital markets, like two hedge funds waltzing into the sunset. ASST will issue new shares as part of this financial courtship.

And let us not forget Mt. Gox: once the crowned king of Bitcoin exchanges, now a cautionary tale after hackers spirited away over 800,000 BTC in 2014. Creditors have spent more than a decade waiting for scraps from this digital feast, but rumor has it distributions are finally on the horizon. Patience, it seems, is not only a virtue but also a prerequisite for crypto redemption. ⏳🦄

Would you like me to break down or explain any part of this text?

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2025-05-20 18:15