Welcome, brave souls, to this week’s rollercoaster of digital currency madness. We’ve got it all: big dreams, bigger hacks, and a whole lot of confusion. Strap in, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
Top Stories This Week
1. Bitcoin to $250K? Analyst Predicts ‘Moon Landing’ by 2025!
In a shocking display of optimism (or maybe just good ol’ wishful thinking), Scott Melker, the self-proclaimed “Wolf of All Streets,” predicts that Bitcoin could rocket up to $250,000 by the end of 2025. Apparently, macro factors like the U.S. inflation cooling to a breezy 2.3% (hey, it’s better than expected!) are the wind in Bitcoin’s sails. But before you get too excited, remember that U.S. debt ceiling talks and PPI data might just come crashing down on this rocket ship of hope.
Bitcoin’s flirtation with $105K this week certainly has the bulls prancing, but don’t be fooled—there’s a storm brewing in the data storm clouds. Get your umbrellas out!
2. Coinbase Hit with $180M-$400M Hack: Who Knew Support Agents Could Be So Shady?
In the world of crypto, you’re either hacking or getting hacked. This week, Coinbase got a little too cozy with cybercriminals who bribed overseas support agents to spill the beans on customer data. The cost? Anywhere between $180M to $400M. Don’t worry though, no one’s credentials were compromised—yet. Coinbase, ever the optimist, is offering a $20M reward for catching the criminals. If only you could hack your way into their wallet too, huh?
As Coinbase readies itself to join the S&P 500, this little blip could rattle some investor confidence. But hey, what’s a little data breach between crypto friends?
3. SEC vs. Ripple: The Neverending Saga Continues!
May 15th was the day the legal gods frowned upon Ripple. U.S. District Judge Analisa Torres said “Nope!” to Ripple’s motion, throwing a wrench in its hopes of reducing a $125 million penalty. Looks like Ripple’s journey to salvation is going to take a little longer. The price of XRP took a nosedive—down more than 12% from its weekly high, but hey, who’s counting?
The Ripple community is now left scratching its head as the crypto market spirals into uncertainty. With 11 XRP ETF applications pending, the drama isn’t over, folks. Stay tuned!
4. Trump’s Crypto Ventures: The ‘Conflict of Interest’ Show Continues!
Donald Trump is at it again, mixing business and politics like it’s a Sunday barbecue. His DeFi project, World Liberty Financial, is under investigation by Senator Richard Blumenthal for potential conflicts of interest. Oh, and don’t forget the TRUMP memecoin dinner plans for the elite few. Pay-to-play? Nah, just a casual dinner with some crypto. Meanwhile, Trump’s links to Tether have the market buzzing. What’s next, a Trumpcoin backed by the wall?
5. Binance Rules the Swap Market: 93% Market Share—Is This Decentralization?
Binance’s swap market share has grown from a modest 3.4% in January to a monstrous 93%. What’s their secret? Binance Alpha tokens, of course! But the real question is, does this mean the end of decentralization as we know it? Binance’s 0.05% developer fee is being called a “rug pull enabler” by some, but let’s not get too cynical… or should we?
As Binance pulls ahead of competitors like OKX and MetaMask, it’s clear—centralization is the new black. Decentralized airdrops? So last season!
- Monero Surpasses DAI, PEPE in Market Cap: Monero is on fire! It’s up a whopping 54% in 30 days, surpassing PEPE and DAI with a $6.43B market cap. Look out, crypto world, the privacy coin is climbing.
Weekly Gainers & Losers
| Gainers | Losers |
| Four (FORM): +16% | Brett (BRETT): -23% |
| Onyxcoin (XCN): +9% | Celestia (TIA): -18% |
| Dogewifhat (WIF): +7% | Bonk (BONK): -17% |
| Walrus (WAL): +6% | Bitcoin SV (BSV): -16% |
| Kaspa (KAS): +5% | Uniswap (UNI): -16% |
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2025-05-17 21:44